Blinded by Sympathy

"What makes sympathy so weak is its lack of objectivity."  Love and Responsibility by Karol Wotyla

Writing about the path from sympathy to friendship, Wotyla in his book, Love and Responsibility, writes that "one in sympathy" may be thought of as one who experiences with;  it means above all else, that what results in the way of emotional energy, is energy which strongly tends to unite persons. In the event of sympathy, the uniting of persons arises as a direct response to their feelings and emotional response to external events.
"This is something which happens to them, and is not the direct result of an act of  [free] will. Sympathy is a manifestation of experiences rather than activities... the will is captured by the force of those emotions and pulled along." Sympathy is love at a purely emotional stage without any act of choosing. "At most the will consents to its existence and to the direction it takes."

When we find ourselves sympathetic to another, we find that the other is in our 'emotional energy range,' and that an emotional response is awakened by their presence. "This response is awakened with my sympathy, and may also die with it, since it depends upon my emotional attitude to the person who is the object of my sympathy."
There then is a weakness present in sympathy such that without the action of the will, sympathy persists; it tends to blind and obscure the innate value of the person. Sympathy in itself is not friendship and cannot constitute a love for others, despite the reality that at least initially, it pulls one another into a single orbit and makes the persons feel emotionally close.
It may and does creates some of the conditions for true friendship and love to arise, but without a conscious desire of goodwill and benevolence, 'I want what is good for you,' a simple, sympathetic relationship falters.

While sympathy may at times pass for goodwill, its effect is not long lasting. It is illusion. For what is real, remains. It is here that sympathy may be blinding. Often persons, acting under the sphere of pure emotion, mistake it for friendship.
As a result, for example, marriages may be based not on friendship, a direct act of will, but on sympathy; if one does not engage the will, at some point the marital relationship dissolves. In  friendship, the act of choosing, the desire of what is 'for the goodwill for another' is actively and necessarily engaged. Both friendship and goodwill are absent in relationships founded in mere sympathy.

Beyond Guilt and Shame

"When people forgive themselves, we sense their merger with something big and beyond us; then it is we, who feel shut out and betrayed... forgiveness can provoke jealousy and anger... Forgivers have found the way to peace, while the rest of us watch in confusion, anger or envy." Forgiving Yourself by Beverly Flannigan

Writing further on the essential subject of self-forgiveness, Beverly Flannigan takes up the discussion of what is it in a life when fundamental assumptions about ones self are shattered? What occurs to the one who suddenly is confronted with a reality both different and less than the one which he previously owned? While "retaliation and revenge are an option, forgiveness of our self and others is another option."

Forgiving is a signal to yourself and others that you have learned, that you are once more engaged in the activity of life. It requires a braveness to step forward again with new knowledge and clarity into what is never to be fully known, that is life itself, and move forward. Is not mercy and a portion of justice important both personally and in our society? May it first begin with your self.

Often in our life, we meet with traumatic experiences, experiences which shatter what we previously thought or believed about ourselves. In the bright light of loss of face, the loss of self-respect, we may be plunged into self doubt and shame. When people begin to question their former assumptions about the world, spirituality, their colleagues, family, them self and others, what may have been assumed is now set into turmoil.

If for example, a person "lies, cheats, physically harms, or betrays others, these behaviors may not, at least initially, destroy the perpetrator's assumptions." Assumptions such as: I'm a good person--even though I cheat sometimes;they deserve it; I'm only working for my best... so I have to betray those with what I know; I live in a world where others accept my flaws, but that's because there is something wrong with them."

And when a person causes harm that remains and is injurious, that person perpetrates something which brings their previous assumptions into sharp focus. "An unforgiven wrong-doer is faced with a new set of assumptions," writes Flannigan. "Additionally they are responsible for destroying the very beliefs which held their world together... They now face the new idea that they may not have been a "good person" at all. And others do not unconditionally condone or accept their behavior," in spite of recognition of the transgressor's flaws. Nor can others be forced, or necessarily convinced, to continue in relation as before. The situation ruptures. Sometimes an apology must occur, sometimes, something more is required.

The injurer, for the first time likely, realizes that "other people do not have to condone their injurious actions, and that it is not they who have "now rendered the world less benevolent than it was, it's me." People are often shocked to find that there are limits. In civil society, there is a rhythm, an order which must be attended to; when one harms others, the injured begin to question themselves and what they formerly assumed.

Finally it is the injurer, along with the injured who will have to, like the victim, if they care about what they have done to permanently damage their own belief system, to build again, a new way and a new set of beliefs.

Abandoning the Most Basic Fears

"Some, especially those in spiritual communities, may imagine that the jewel of life never has conflict, argument, or upset--and of how little we know or appreciate it..."
-- Nothing Special, Living Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck

I have a dream," said Martin Luther King;
even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth; we must become the change we wish to see in the world,"
said Mahatma Gandhi;
blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God,"said Saint Matthew 5:9;
"let one see one's own acts, done and undone,"
states the Dhammapada, verse 50.

Becoming the "tomato fighters," as Charlotte Joko Beck calls them in her book, Nothing Special Living Zen, is as important as death itself. How so?
It is the fear of death itself, and of impermanence in general, that is the most basic of all our fears; it is, she writes, the basis of all our fear-based responses. When in fear, we are not free. We cannot respond in the "here-and-now" because fear most often is fueled by the past about something which has not yet occurred, and may not ever.

Oh, what a place to be--neither past nor present; caught in the dream of self, a self which is not present in this moment, living this life. Rather it is fearing, fearful of what has yet to come, fueled by memory, of past; a past which may include argument, competitiveness, conflict, pain and of course, anger. Thinking that life is necessarily free of such experiences is "a great mistake, because if we don't understand how conflict is generated, we can wreck our lives, and the lives of others. First, we need to see that we are all afraid... [there is] the effort to protect our self-image, our ego. Out of that need... comes anger. Out of anger comes conflict," writes Beck.

Yet anger and conflict are part of human existence. However they need not destroy our relations with others. To suppose that a good community, or to imagine that a "good life has no heated arguments, no disagreements; that's silly." Like neighbors she knew as a child, Beck writes that they competed, argued loudly over the produce of their summer gardens. Each proclaimed his tomatoes to be the best. And they argued some more. Yet these neighbors were friends. After the competition was over, there was no bitterness. Their example of a positive exchange, was in the end, when their loud bickering was done, that they were still friends; they still exchanged their ideas and opinions without rancor.

If we find that argument with persons close to us, connected in one way or another, leaves us bitter, angry or sad, a closer view may be in order. Arguing, clearing the air, resolving and respecting differences can be positive to practice. Suzuki wrote that he had never personally experienced "anger, pure as the wind." Perhaps because it is so frequently tinged with fears and disappointments.
Beck writes about our efforts to be honest, "Honesty is the absolute basis of our practice. But what does that mean?... Often our efforts to be honest don't come from real honesty... As long as we have any intention to be right, to show or "teach" the other person something, we should be wary. So long as our words have the slightest ego attachment, they are dishonest."

True words come from deep looking, clear seeing, and understanding. Understanding what is our anger, our fear; knowing that we must sometimes wait. Can you wait, patiently, observing all of yourself and the world around you? Can you wait attentively until the answer presents itself? Will you force an answer with false words or actions?

Waiting until the right words or actions arise in the present moment is not easy, but it is very important if we want to be peacemakers with ourselves, and others. Then we may speak with honest words, words that do not cut, that do no harm; speaking words that reflect who we are, honestly, in the clearest, best voice we have-- our own.

This article appeared here previously September 24, 2009

Becoming Alive, the Kingdom of Happiness

"This is the practice of living deeply in the moment. If you worry too much, you will suffer." --Going Home by Thich Nhat Hanh

Know that, says Thich Nhat Hanh, "the Kingdom [of heaven] is not for tomorrow, the Kingdom is not a matter of the past. The Kingdom is now. We need food today... We need to be alive in each moment. We need the kind of food that makes us alive in every moment of our life so that we can nourish our faith, our love, our solidity, and our tolerance. We desperately need that kind of food." There are so many hungry people, people hungry for spiritual food.
We grasp ideas and notions "that is why we have never satisfied our hunger. We always speak of eating, but we never eat."

"If the Christ is the body of God, which he is, then the bread he offers is also the body of the Cosmos. Look deeply and you will notice the sun, the earth in the bread."
Being mindful will allow you to see all that the bread contains; consuming this bread, "you eat it in such a way that you become alive, truly alive... Eat in such a way that the Holy Spirit becomes an energy within you.. and then [it] will stop being an idea, a notion."

You need to eat this bread, corn, rice, what ever it may be, mindfully so as to become alive to the Way, to the process.
Artists often talk of 'process.' What is your process? What is your attachment to the outcome?
Mindfully observe the ways in which you consume the 'bread of life.'
"You need to eat it in order to become alive again so that faith as an energy, true faith, true love, is nourished in you, and happiness becomes a reality for yourself and for many others."

Yet because of all that what is written above, in complete faith and hopefulness, you imagine a kingdom that is without suffering at all. "It is very distressing,' writes Hanh.
 He observes that the joy to be alive can most clearly come about from the despair of dying; the joy of health is not complete without the knowledge and experience of sickness and loss of health.
Hanh states, "Our hope, our desire, our aspiration for a kingdom or a place where suffering does not exist should be re-examined."  That the people in that place should not suffer, they will not despair; they should only experience happiness, unending in their daily life -- Wake Up!
"This is something absurd and impossible," Hanh writes. Rather a "Pure Land" is a place where both suffering and love exist. It is a place of mindfulness, and of impermanence so that the good may follow the ill. It is Hell to merely suffer without any hope for relief.

Love is born of suffering. Suffering is its ground. If you live in such a place that is without suffering, then you live in a place without love.
We all need food to sustain ourselves, but not just any kind of food. The right food for each of us is not always the same food.
You who have suffered, know what it is; you want to help others in their suffering; to bring them the food they need. You want to bring happiness, your happiness; this is the stuff of love; it is compassion. Love born of suffering is a practice.
"Unless you know what suffering is, you are not motivated to practice compassion, love and understanding."

Rosh Ha-Shanah, New Year

In recognition of the recent conclusion of the Jewish New Year 5771 observances, Rosh Ha-Shanah, and the High Holy days occurring annually about September each year, the Simple Mind revisits a most beautiful piece of literature contained within the Jewish Cannon, Sh'ir Ha-sh'irim also known as the Song of Songs or the Song of Solomon. Each new year is commenced by days of reflection, alms giving and repentance. The observance of Rosh Ha-Shanah, itself is also a reflective time for believers. As a covenental faith, Judiaism proclaims a just and merciful G-d, a passionate, loving G-d as reflected in the 'Song.'

"The author of the Song, using the same literary figure, paints a beautiful picture of the ideal Israel, the chosen people of the Old and New Testaments, whom the Lord led by degrees to an exalted spiritual union with himself in the bond of perfect love. When the Song is thus interpreted, there is no reason for surprise at the tone of the poem which employs in its descriptions the courtship and marriage customs of the author's time. Moreover, the poem is not an allegory in which each remark, in the dialogue of the lovers, has a higher meaning. It is a parable in which the true meaning of mutual love comes from the poem as a whole."

"Although the poem is attributed to Solomon in the traditional title, the language and style of the work, among other considerations, point to a time after the end of the Babylonian Exile, 538 B.C as that in which an unknown poet composed this masterpiece. The structure of the Song is difficult to analyze; it is regarded as a lyric dialogue, with dramatic movement and interest. The Lord speaks of Israel as a new spiritual people, purified by the Babylonian captivity and betrothed anew to her divine Lover "in justice and uprightness, in love and mercy."
Quoted text source: various authors, USCCB.

Song of Songs, Sh'ir Ha-Sh'irim, Chapter 2

    I am a flower of Sharon,
    a lily of the valley.
     As a lily among thorns,
    so is my beloved among women.

     As an apple tree among the trees of the woods,
    so is my lover among men.
    I delight to rest in his shadow,
    and his fruit is sweet to my mouth.

      He brings me into the banquet hall
    and his emblem over me is love.

    Strengthen me with raisin cakes,
    refresh me with apples,
    for I am faint with love.

    His left hand is under my head
    and his right arm embraces me.

    I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles and hinds of the field,
    Do not arouse, do not stir up love
    before its own time.
     Hark! my lover-here he comes
    springing across the mountains,
    leaping across the hills.

    My lover is like a gazelle
    or a young stag.
    Here he stands behind our wall,
    gazing through the windows,
    peering through the lattices.

    My lover speaks; he says to me,
    "Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one,
    and come!
    "For see, the winter is past,
    the rains are over and gone.

    The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of pruning the vines has come,
    and the song of the dove is heard in our land.

    The fig tree puts forth its figs,
    and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.
    Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one,
    and come!
    "O my dove in the clefts of the rock,
    in the secret recesses of the cliff,
    Let me see you,
    let me hear your voice,
    For your voice is sweet,
    and you are lovely."

Translation: New American Bible

What You See Is Not Always Golden*

"When psychologists don the cloak of expert in areas in which they have no more authority than the average man--that is, when they invade religion, ethics, and politics--they will often be found...to be wearing very little, and sometimes nothing at all." --The Emperor's New Clothes by W.K. Kilpatrick 

In the story of The Emperor's New Clothes originally as written by Hans Christian Anderson, naturally enough, is about an Emperor, a proud man, although sometimes prone to insecurity about how his subjects regard him, who values their esteem and respect above everything. Like many of his kind, he is very susceptible to flattery, as well as wanting to be able to prove his superiority over his subjects.

One day, two con men arrive in the country and realise they can exploit these weaknesses of the Emperor to their financial advantage. Disguising themselves as fashion designers, they gain access to the Emperor and tell him they are the most talented craftsmen in the land, able to create the most fashionable clothes from the finest material. The Emperor is terribly impressed by their sales pitch and immediately commissions them to create the most extravagant ceremonial robes for him to wear at the next royal procession. An event where he would be sure to be seen and admired by all his subjects.

Of course, the con men have a ruse that they know will both confound the emperor and make them rich without any real effort at all. So, when they start to "make" the fabulous robes, they invite the emperor to choose the fabric, and ingeniously show him a roll of material, apparently so fine, it is invisible to all but the most discerning clients. Now, the Emperor could not see this marvellous cloth for the simple reason that it did not exist, but could he admit it? Well, he could not, not even to himself.


Neither could the Emperors courtiers; they could see no cloth, but they were not about to admit it; if the Emperor could 'see' it, then indeed it must exist. Anyway, no one wanted to acknowledge that they lacked the discernment to be able to see such finery. The con men finish the "robes," receive their payment and sensibly disappear, never to be seen again in that part of the world. In the days leading up to the royal procession, the city was abuzz with rumours about the wondrous outfit the emperor was to wear. Expectations could not have been higher.

The Emperor, himself, was even more convinced of the reality of his robes; even though he sensed himself to be a fraud, so lacking discernment as he did, whatever uneasiness he felt was more than compensated by the high praise the robes received from all those around him. "Such fine stitching", "so beautifully cut", "what lovely colours" they chorused. The day of the procession arrived, and with full pomp and ceremony. The emperor paraded through the city - well - stark naked. The citizens, though, were not about to admit that what they could see or not, as it happened, cheered and roared their approval of the emperor and his new 'suit of clothes.' This happy, if a little undignified delusion would have continued unhindered, except for one thing, or rather one quite small child.

The child, one of the many spectators, was waiting expectantly to see the emperor and the much heralded robes, but what did he see? A naked emperor; unable to stay silent, he shouted out, "He's completely naked". Of course, those around him laughed at his 'stupidity' and told him to shut his mouth. The child insisted, "But he is, he is...". Well, to bring this tale to an end, eventually the crowd became restive; uncertain whispering broke out, as did the occasional guffaw of laughter. Then, like a punctured balloon, the pomp began to deflate as spectators, courtiers and Emperor alike realized that what the child was saying was indeed true. I don't have to describe the subsequent humiliation and deflation that followed.

It also carries another equally powerful message. After all, it is only the child who sees through the charade. The story of the Emperor's new clothes tells us that overweening pomposity and grandeur usually gets its come-uppance, and sometimes from the most unlikely source. For after all, how could a small, ordinary child be a threat to the highest authority in the land?" version by: http://www.critpsynet.freeuk.com/Baker.htm

In the Land of Oz, there lives a fairy godmother, a wicked witch , an innocent young girl and a small, tremulous man hiding behind a curtain, so as to seem to be something else. That is, until he's uncovered. In his book, The Zen of Oz, Joey Green writes, "Oz is actually governed by the Tao." Does The Wizard of Oz "touch a spiritual chord in each one of us because it has a certain Zen to it?"

Dorothy while searching for her place in the world experiences a series of mis-adventures in which at one point, in a cyclone, she is knocked unconscious. She then, we learn, enters into a mysterious, dream-like world. Starting off on a path called the Yellow Brick Road, the tale's author, Frank Lyman Baum, recounts to us, that she, along with her dog, Toto, and others encountered along the way go to find The Wizard of Oz. "The Wizard while claiming to be beneficent, rules Oz through fear and manipulation-- from behind a curtain.

He extols himself, like the Emperor in the previous story as "great and munificent," writes Green of the discovery of the Oz castles, and the little man otherwise known, but the unseen, Wizard of Oz. It is like in the previous tale again, a small, harmless creature, this time a tiny dog rather than a child who runs towards the Wizard behind the curtain, pulls it back to reveal the truth about  Oz. The Wizard, now humiliated, makes amends to Dorothy and her party by promising his help to return her home.

The theme of these stories, it may be said is that one should not insult the real with the unreal. For if you do, you too will at once revel in your own nakedness.

*This article appeared here on January 14, 2010

The Legend of Chang Er

In commemoration of the Chinese Moon festival, or the Mid-Autumn festival as it is sometimes called, the ancient Legend of Chang Er is recounted here. The festival falls upon a full moon, usually the month of September. After the New Year celebration, this is perhaps the most important of Chinese traditional festivals. Families gather; Yue bin, moon cake, is traditionally eaten.

There are many beautiful legends about the moon in China. the most popular one tells how a goddess named Chang Er ascended to the moon.

A long, long time ago, a terrible drought plagued the earth. Ten suns burned fiercely in the sky like smoldering volcanoes. The trees and grass were scorched. The land was cracked and parched, and rivers ran
dry. Many people died of hunger and thirst.The King of Heaven sent Hou Yi down to the earth to help. When Hou Yi arrived, he took out his red bow and white arrows and shot down nine suns one after another. The weather immediately turned cooler. Heavy rains filled the rivers with fresh water and the grass and trees turned green. Life had been restored and humanity was saved.

One day, a charming young woman, Chang Er makes her way home from a stream, holding a bamboo container, A young man comes forward, asking for a drink. When she sees the red bow and white arrows hanging from his belt, Chang Er realizes that he is their savior, Hou Yi. Inviting him to drink, Chang Er plucks a beautiful flower and gives it to him as a token of respect. Hou Yi, in turn, selects a beautiful silver fox fur
as his gift for her. This meeting kindles the spark of their love. And soon after that, they get married. A mortal's life is limited, of course. So in order to enjoy his happy life with Chang'e forever, Hou Yi decides to look for an elixir of life. He goes to the Kunlun Mountains where the Western Queen Mother lives.

Out of respect for the good deeds he has done, the Western Queen Mother rewards Hou Yi with elixir, a fine powder made from pieces of fruit which grows on the tree of eternity. At the same time, she tells him:If you and your wife share the elixir, you will both enjoy eternal life. But if only one of you takes it,that one will ascend to Heaven and become immortal.

Hou Yi returns home and tells his wife all that has happened and they decide to drink the elixir together on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month when the moon is full and bright. A wicked and merciless man named Feng Meng secretly hears about their plan. He wishes Hou Yi an early death so that he can drink the elixir himself and become immortal.

His opportunity finally arrives. One day,when the full moon is rising, Hou Yi is on his way home from hunting. Feng Meng kills him. The murderer then runs to Hou Yi's home and forces Chang Er to give him the elixir, Without hesitating, Chang Er picks up the elixir and drinks it all. Overcome with grief, Chang Er rushes to her dead husband's side, weeping bitterly. Soon the elixir begins to have its effect and Chang Er feels herself being lifted towards Heaven.

Chang Er decides to live on the moon because it is nearest to the earth. There she lives a simple and contented life. Even though she is in Heaven, her heart remains in the world of mortals. Never does she forget the deep love she has for Hou Yi and the love she feels for the people who have shared their sadness and happiness.

Another legend explained the role of the Old Man on the Moon, the Divine Match-maker. The Chinese believed that marriages were made in Heaven but prepared on the moon. The Old Man on the Moon tied the feet of young men and women with red cords for marriage. Thus a maiden made offerings and prayed to him during the Mid-Autumn Festival, hoping that some day she would ride in the red bridal sedan chair.
From the website: http://www.chinavoc.com

The Meaning of Looking at the Self with Hatred

"The root of life and death is the discriminating mind." Mud and Water by Bassui

"Looking at one's self is as intense as hatred for the enemy. What is the meaning of this?" When you awaken to your true nature, wrote the Zen master Bassui, you cut off the wheel of reincarnation. Awakening to your many virtues, you bring benefit to the lives of others also. Bassui wrote, "In the self, there is true and false. The discriminating mind is false; the Buddha-nature is true. Beginning practitioners mistakenly take things like the [ability to] emit light and perform miracles which are really the roots of ignorance, being activities of the mind, for the clear expression of Buddha nature." He further noted that as long as students of the Way "haven't eradicated their discriminating minds, all their activities and words are the deeds of karmic consciousness"; they are not in accord with the Way.

"If, he wrote,'you clearly eliminate the drunken mind, drunken rages will instantly stop, and mind and body will be calm and quiet. If you want to recover completely from your illness, then stay free when sitting, lying down or doing walking meditation. And don't rely on another's power. Just stop your wandering, look penetratingly into your inherent nature and concentrating your spiritual energy, sit in
Zazen ... then you will for the first time, attain liberation." He further explains that if one only seeks to stop his movement, to contain his spiritual energy, then his consciousness will be that of one searching after a robber and treating him like a child. That, Bassui concludes is why one must regard the self with the fresh hatred of viewing an enemy. Only then will you succeed.

Kahlil Gibran, the Poet On Friendship

"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter..." The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Written in his best known English language volume, The Prophet, poet, philosopher and artist Gibran writes about the subject of friendship most importantly. He, Gibran, the son of a Maronite Priest was born in Lebanon in the late 19th century. His family immigrated to the United States and lived in Boston when the poet was about 12 years old. He became a US citizen and lived the better part of his life there. He is often mistakenly thought of as a middle easterner and not Christian. But the contrary is entirely true. Even so, his strong family ties to Ottoman Syria, modern day Lebanon is clear throughout his works.

His poetic interests were most often spiritual themes; he often wrote about love. His long relationship to Mary Haskell is thought to have inspired much of his work. Writing in his tender, passionate way, Gibran reveals a depth and awareness over time that contributed to the making of his fame.

Kahlil Gibran on Friendship

And a youth said:

Speak to us of Friendship!
And he answered, saying
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love
and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger,
and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear
not the "nay" in your own mind,
nor do you withhold the "ay".
And when he is silent your heart ceases
not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts,
all desires, all expectations are born and shared,
with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most
in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship
save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure
of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth:
and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend
that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need,
but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship
let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things
the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Kabbalah, Lurianic Mysticism

"The test of love is in how one relates not to saints and scholars but to rascals." -- A Passion for Truth by Abraham Joshua Heschel

The great Jewish American theologian, A. J. Heschel writes in his book, A Passion for Truth at length about the origins and meaning of the mystical tradition within Judaism. Many today have discovered the ancient mystical traditions of Judaism; not having ever supposed that such a thing existed, they find this teaching enthralling. It is familiar to the Western mind; its practice extends into Christian mysticism, as Judaism is its parent. However, some have discovered the Kabbalah, divorced from its Judeo-Christian heritage and taken it as if a religion apart from the Biblical Judaism.

It is a spiritual practice well contained within the sphere of Judaism. It is not to be used as a talisman or a secret way for those who eschew its parent faith, the Judaism of ancient Israel. Reading the book of this great mind, Heschel, this becomes apparent. He writes, "indeed, it is difficult to comprehend his teaching without an adequate appreciation of Lurianic mysticism." A basic teaching of all denominations of Judaism and Christianity for that matter, is that 'Adonai echad!' The Lord is One! It is the faith of monotheism, a One, paternal Lord of all.

The greatness of the Rabbi, Isaac Ben Sholom Luria was his emphasis on not merely knowing the Way, but living the Way. "Under the impact of the Hasidic movement, Kabbalah, which had for centuries been studied in conventicles [a secret or unlawful religious meeting] and been understood by the initiated, now reached and affected the minds and lives of a vast multitude." The famous Rabbi of the Shetl, the Ba'al Shem Tov, according to historical tradition lived the life of this kind of Kabbalist. Heschel writes of him, "he often carried out acts of yihudim, spiritual concentration, 'mystical unification' within the sphere of the Divine, or meditations on the combination of spiritual names." He recommended and encouraged spiritual practices which previously had been carried out only by those initiates, advocating that the practice was for all, that every person could realize the divinity.

And there were those Rabbis who opposed this tradition in modernized form. "In contrast to classical Hassidism, the teachings of the dissenters, the rebbes of Pshyskhe and Kotzk, contain no vestige of Lurianic theology. Though there are no explicit declarations, there are many indications of a clear intent to remove Kabbalistic speculation from Hasidic concern." Rabbi Bunam's opposition to Kabbalah, for example, is exemplified in this comment to his disciples: "Ask a Kabbalist for the secret contained in the verse of the Shema [Hear O Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is One!] in which two capital letters occur making up the word, 'witness.' According to the Law, the Shema may be recited in any language. But the letters would be different then, wouldn't they, and there would be no secret!"

Thus the "Holy Jew displayed an ironical attitude" to the mysteries espoused by Kabbalah. Practices of all waking life were its subject: Sleeping, waking, bathing, eating and all of family life, in addition to work life, and life outside of the home, with regard to neighbors for example, were held within Kabbalistic concern. While some of the Rabbis of the early modern period were greatly immersed into these practices, and their followers as well, others were clearly impatient with this new form of mystical teaching. "However... [they] accepted the principle that the chief task of a tzaddik was to carry out yihudim in everything he undertook... though carried out by a mortal man in this world, it would affect the worlds on high."

Feminism, a Failure to Appreciate

"Then all of them together, crying loudly, moved to the malevolent shore that awaits anyone who has no fear of God." -- Inferno, Canto III by Dante

In his belief, born of experience first as a cloistered monk and then as a Jungian therapist, Thomas Moore comes now to realize that "what was really at the root of those unsettled lives was religion... I didn't always realize the extent to which spiritual issues were playing a central role... The obvious spiritual problems had to do with disturbing experiences surrounding religion in childhood." In his book, The Soul's Religion, Moore writes "in these ordinary, troubled lives, spirit and psyche were closely connected. In other cases, spiritual issues were more subtle and required a broadening of the idea of spirituality."

Today, society to the extent that it acknowledges religion at all, sees itself "in relation to an image of a "gentleman God,' the grandfather and patriarch." This pushes the feminine into the shadows, hidden beneath the surface of everyday life. Neglected feminine nature in the world is often felt in oppressive and mysterious forces that may make living an everyday life almost impossible. For the feminine energy, like her balance, masculine energy, needs recognition for composure in daily living. Many today neglect, even deny the feminine nature; they are hostile to its alleged weak frailty. Yet many seek its compensations in a professional life that includes care-taking in fields like nursing, elementary school teaching, social work; merely doing this everyday, external work doesn't solve an interior, spiritual lack or need for the feminine energy. There are, Moore notes, countless females who mother and nurture all those they contact almost to death. We often seek to escape them. Allowing the feminine, the Marian, into daily life as a spiritual role or guide "is an effective way to heal" the lack of a divine mother in a man or woman's life. She takes her proper place as an 'avatar' rather than a lived out female image. Then, here she is spirit; she is soul.

"In matters of soul and spirit, things are not always what they might seem." Moore observes, "I have come to understand sexism and violence against women as a spiritual issue, as a failure to appreciate the feminine mysteries" which no amount of nudity, ogling, looking or voyeuristic regard will alleviate. The deepest interior, which cannot be seen, can only be sensed with the soul-heart is at issue. "Today many spiritual passions are disguised in politics, war, money, sex or athletics." Even so, most secular, enlightenment outlets for spiritual passion are inadequate because they address merely a surface issue, meaning that recognition is admitted only indirectly, often unconsciously, so we don't often even grant that they are religious. These modern, secular, indirect forms "siphon off spiritual steam, leaving unsatisfied religious needs."

This loss of recognition of the spiritual, the religious, as an attitude, a way of life, a lifestyle, leads to great degrees of loss, of illness, of alienation in modern life. Some have written of the "sick soul." Many relationships, families and marriages fail "because we now treat them as sociological constructions or psychological arrangements, partnerships, rather than as holy mysteries. As a result we continue to crave religion of the deepest kind, often in disguised form; yet so much of what we try is inadequate, "only increasing the craving and emptiness" of our deepest selves, writes Moore.

In maturity, spiritual growth, like growth in any other area of our life, renders to us a "quest and search." What we discover is a deepening and a broadening of ourself; we are not obliged to a single path, our perceptions deepen, wisdom accrues. We often discover paradoxes at work. How to combine apparent opposites into one coherent whole is our challenge, and our grace. In doing so, we find the gifts of our life.

Inside the Grail Legend

“...if one is to find the Grail, [that] means not to fall prey to a mood.” The Holy Grail as interpreted by Robert Johnson


There are many, many truths to be gained from study of this most unique of legends, the Holy Grail. Following the lead of Carl and Emma Jung and Marie Louise von Franz, Robert Johnson writes in his book, He, that “what the Grail myth is telling us is that in his relationship to the interior feminine a man should relate to her, that interior feminine [self] on a feeling level and not on a mood level.” The author distinguishes the terms mood and feeling by explanation: he writes, a mood is the result of the interior self unconsciously in possession, the anima or interior feminine self of a man; a feeling is a value, the ability to value. “If a man has a good relationship with his anima, his feminine self, he is able to feel, to value, and thus find meaning in his life. If a man is not related to his anima... he has no capacity for valuation. So sharp collision between the two types of interior experience a man goes through."

In the Legend of the Grail, Percival is guided to his feeling senses, his anima. In discovering a bit of this sense, he is useful and creative; in doing so, he must not however seduce or be seduced by the interior feminine self. Granting himself seduction is destructive towards his goal of finding the Grail Castle. He is, in the legend, most thoroughly advised not to fall prey to a mood. “As soon as a man falls into a mood, he has no capacity for relationship, no power for feeling and therefore no capacity for valuation.” All moods, good or bad, are trouble.

While under the spell of a mood, the one who feels its effect is like a person bewitched. “He cannot think, he cannot function, he cannot relate; he may think he’s doing a great deal, but there is just so much churning inside. If something is not already wrong, a man in a mood will make it wrong.” And if they are not wise to it, a man’s loved ones may also fall victim to his moods. A man may, in fact, in that state of mind think that they are quite responsible for his moods!

Robbed of a sense of relatedness or meaning, a man in a mood we learn in the Grail legend, is a man who cannot find fulfillment. He is easily bored. Thus “if something is wrong with one’s ability to relate, the meaning in life is gone. So depression is another term for mood. One finds that most of the content of a psychosis for a man is anima. It’s a haunting, a possession.” A mood is a little madness then, which overtakes. Many times a person may be overtaken by a mood. There is then wild enthusiasm for this or for that, but the mood runs its course and then the thing is forgotten; much time and money is expended by those in a mood. While in this state he does not ‘run his own house’ and then is impossible to live with; he is terribly critical of exterior, in the flesh women at this time, soundly blaming them for any number of things to which they stand mystified!  A man must learn in his quest for the Grail to look for fulfillment but not good moods, lest he is again in possession by something destructive. It’s as if in the mood he declares, “You are going to make me happy--or else!”

The anecdote to this is to learn to live in time, moment to moment. One can learn to recognize the advent of a mood and refuse it. It is one's responsibility to know what is going on within himself so as to live consciously-- the point of this quest for the Holy Grail. “A man who has this kind of self-knowledge begins to develop ego strength,” writes Johnson. When truly enthusiastic, a man is filled with the Spirit of God. He is vibrant and creative. A great creativity flows, one which is stable and productive. It is not the petulance of a child.

The truest genius of a flesh and blood woman is that if she can be consciously aware of her innate feminine nature, not critical of others, and strong enough to stand up to this “spurious femininity” when a man’s mood presents such; he will likely come out of his mood and return to his senses. Many in this world are in the possession of a mental illness, a foul mood which befalls them either frequently or intermittently. They may say they’re having a bad day while in this state. And when comes its opposite, because balance is necessary, mania or depression appears. Chaos may also result owing to the lack of feeling or valuing. Careful reflection and conscious awareness is the point of Percival’s methodical search. The myth, if we follow it through, tells us that Percival triumphs.

The Grail Legend, Signs of Life

"...the man is distinguished by the feminine elements." The Grail Legend by Emma Jung

Continuing in the classic story of the Holy Grail, a myth made noble by its telling and re-telling, the author Emma Jung, wife of famed psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, writes that the myth is known since the middle ages. Over time it develops and refines itself through the numerous spiritual awakenings experienced by its telling. "Thus he [like Percival]  is brought into close connection with the Christ." So then the "Grail hero," Percival, represents  the higher conscious awareness of a person, in the religious, spiritual sense of the word.

The story events can be traced and understood as "symbolic representations of the archetypal development .... on the other hand, they possess a dimension in depth which points specifically to the problem of the Christian era." The "problem" as described relates to the nature of salvation contained within the Christ story. Percival spurred on by his mother, goes forth from the family home to find his way in the world and most importantly to discover the location of the Grail Castle. For this, he searches long, high and low.

"It would seem,' writes Jung, 'that the mother's story has produced an after-effect in the unconscious of the youth and has there aroused the images of the paternal figures which he then meets in the Grail Castle." This as example, is an experience many of us are familiar with: during our waking day we experience something which while fleeting, to which no importance may be attached, nonetheless it activates the unconscious mind. Often these experiences give rise to dreams which appropriately consider the subject in depth, but most often in symbols. Within the Grail Legend there are a host of symbols to be considered, both religious and spiritual, masculine and feminine.

One of the many things the myth demonstrates is that during Percival's long wandering, while a man naturally has the "tendency to identify with his masculinity, and it is well known, the acceptance of his feminine side is a severe problem for him. He is therefore inclined to act unjustly towards the feminine. It may seem strange... to place a high value on the wronging of the feminine element... it must not be overlooked, however, that a woman is only loved externally; the manly ideal is a one-sided and absolute masculinity." There is then the "motif of the chessboard" upon which Gauvain [another character in the myth] and his beloved defend themselves.

"For in the game of chess which requires concentration and close attention, the two sides confront one another,  "a well nigh all powerful queen stands beside a somewhat helpless yet nevertheless vitally important king... the knight must still submit himself" for the further development of the game. As in the game, Percival, like a 'shadow figure' tries to investigate these and other profound problems seeking solutions and the ultimate holy of holy, the Grail itself. To whom the Grail is possessed is riches without parallel. In this game, that one is the victor.

The Legend of the Holy Grail

"It is one of those fairy tales... in which the search for a 'treasure hard to attain." The Grail Legend by Emma Jung and M-L von Franz


Despite the popularity of comedies and parodies about the Holy Grail, Monty Python most famously, there is in European folklore and myth, the tale of the Holy Grail. The Grail Legend as written by Emma Jung and completed after her death by Marie-Louise von Franz is a compelling examination into the origins and compilation of what today we know as the Grail myth. The story is thought to have originated in parts of Europe, especially in the Northern regions, and in geographic France. Its more recent form is often accredited to 12th century by the Middle Age writer, Chretien de Troyes, an early French speaker. It also may be traced to the Anglo and Germanic regions of Europe. Truly it is of European descent.


The legend in general is told as a story about the search for a mysterious, life sustaining object or vessel guarded by a King in a castle which is remote and difficult to find. The King is lame or sickly; thus the surrounding countryside is suffering, many parts in devastation. The health of the King is paramount to the restoration of the fertility and health of the land. If a knight sufficiently noble and quite excellent can find the castle, and at first sight asks a question there in that place, all will be well. Should he neglect to ask, all remains as before. The castle then is to vanish, the knight to set out once more to search for the vessel. After wandering, should the knight succeed, find the Grail Castle again, ask the question, the King will then be restored to health; the lands will prosper. And that knight, now the hero will become guardian of the Grail from that time onward.


What remains of special interest in this story, even today, has been the focus of study by various individuals, including Emma Jung, wife of the famed psycho-analyst, Carl Jung. Believing in the power of myth and the importance of them in the modern age, Jung set out to examine their components and what they had to teach us about the world we live in and the spiritual world we sense to be. In this story, a unique blend of  "eternal fairy tale enters," writes Jung. She says it reflects the 'Christian eon' as well as fundamental human concerns and spirituality.

The World of Jesus' People

"Thus...Rome established or supported friendly kings... thereby governing through subsevient agents in lands where Rome itself did not choose to rule... Friends of Caesar." Judaism in the Beginning of Christianity by Jacob Neusner


The ruler of the Bible,Herrod and his sons, were local Jews selected by the Romans to rule. Developing the region as they wished for political and economic gain, Roman rule brought changes to the land of the biblical Jesus. They built new cities, ports, aqua ducts, roads; they divided the territory into taxing districts, collected the rents and public due from the populace by means of an established and efficient bureaucracy.

Not regarding Roman rule as wholly legitimate, Jews of the period regarded the taxation imposed upon them as robbery, writes religious historian, Jacob Neusner in his book, Judaism in the Beginning of Christianity. Furthermore he writes, "No Gentile (non Jew) could ever take valid, legal possession of land [since it was ultimately deeded from God in the Jewish mind]; even if a Gentile bought land from a Jew, Gentiles held it as sharecroppers."

Many people, Neusner writes, received a religious education, rich and poor alike. "This education centered on religious learning, was sufficiently broad to impart civilizing and humanizing lessons." Typically Jews of the period learned about their forefathers, such as Moses, Abraham and Jacob. Their tradition was sufficiently old so as to take a look backward into history and observe those peoples of history who no longer existed.

They were instructed about their obligations to the temple, the poor, children and widows, to care for the sick and to bury the dead. God was there for the Jew to be the One Lord, that they should not regard any other, nor idolize as had been done in days long ago. The Jews of the time of the Christ learned to do justice, love mercy and its practice, and mostly to walk humbly with their God.

Thus to these ancients, a comet, a flood, an earthquake or a scientific calculation all conveyed truths equally. They did not readily discriminate among them. Yet socially they were widely stratified. Among the residents of the city Jerusalem, there were those of great wealth, merchants, scholars and men of the Temple. Apart from these were the skilled trades, the money changers, the bankers and the tax collectors. In the countryside, land owners took p residence, with shepherds near or at the lowest rank.

Also present in the countryside were centers established by groups who purposefully separated themselves from the wider society.
The Roman, Philo, describes these groups principally as the Essenes who went outside of the Polis seeking purity and hoping for eternity; the Sadducees, another group who lived outside the Polis, stood for strict adherence to the written word, and practiced conservatism in both ritual and belief as spelled out in the Torah.


Finally the much maligned group of the New Testament, the Pharisees were a group who lived as deliberate Separatists, avoiding contact with those outside their group. Together these groups formed what is now thought of as early monastic practice in which they lived, worked and worshiped together in community. The Pharisees in particular, writes Neusner, adhered to the writings of Jewish philosopher, Hillel, who wrote, "Do not separate yourself from the community."

Thus supposes Neusner, it was the Pharisees who actively fostered their philosophies within the larger society, both Jews and Gentiles alike, greatly able to influence large masses of persons. Some joined with the urban Pharisees and formed urban communes, living, working and carrying out the religious traditions under Pharisaical direction. These groups frequently lived and worked among those who did not know or hold their views. Teaching by example, was an early model followed by those disciples who would later come to follow the Christ; in just the same way, they remained in community at one another's side.

Reclaiming Our Innate Happiness

"We are made to seek happiness." The Art of Happiness by His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
"The basic, underlying nature of the human being is gentleness," so writes His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. In his book on the subject of happiness, The Art of Happiness, His Holiness writes poetically that "if we look at the very pattern of our existence from an early age until our death, we can see the way in which we are fundamentally nurtured by others' affection. It begins at birth." He asserts that a calm, composed mind is benefical to health and well being.

Yet if this be true, how then may aggression and hostility endemic to the human species be accounted for? His Holiness replies that "unbalanced human intelligence, misuse of our intelligence, our imaginative faculty" are the principle causes of such behavior. His Holiness adds that if the intelligence innate to humans is not formed in a balanced, constructive manner, then the end result is often conflict and violence.

Thus, His Holiness concludes we must use our minds in a way that leads to respect, compassion and understanding if we are to prosper in the modern, complex world.

Jung and the West, Regarding Kundalini*

"If some great idea takes hold of us from outside, we must understand that it takes hold of us only because something in us responds to it, and goes out to meet it." --C.S. Jung
In 1932 renowned psychologist Carl Jung, former student of Sigmund Freud, delivered a scholarly paper, now collected into a book, Visions, at a psychoanalysis conference in which he discussed the practice and symbolism of Kundalini Yoga. He also revealed to his listeners a startling correlation in the West between the practice of this type of Yoga, and the experience of a sudden, and perhaps not easily reversible sudden break with the realized world in some individuals. He describes this break as a psychosis, in which the individual believes himself unable to contact with, or function in the everyday world. He is then, psychotic by Western standards, Jung states.

On 16 November 1932 at the same conference, from the transcripts which survive, C.S. Jung says, " the child has grown into a peculiar sort of tree which is human above and snake below... the Kundalini. And below the diaphragm it is all snake... And what is worm below is divine above..." "In the Chakras, the Kundalini was always separate...We must never forget that the Kundalini system is a specifically Indian production, and we have to deal here with Western material... You know that Kundalini changes on her way up to Ajna, the lower part, the part of darkness where the Purusha does not appear, is the black snake; there one is absolutely swallowed up in nature, in emotion, and everything beyond emotion is not perceived because it is not perceptible....Jung continues, "So, to a primitive, a man who thinks is most uncanny, a very bad man, a sorcerer full of hatred who will surely poison you... When you have that point of view, you are inside of the monster. When you come through the diaphragm, you are outside of the monster, and then you can see what really held you was that divine being which appeared to you, when looked at from the inside, as a big snake.

That is the reason why this being is monstrous...."There is an intuitive philosophy taken over from Proclus, the Neo-Platonist, who extolled, "Where there is time, there is creation. Thus time and creation are the same... " Jung further discusses in this same lecture the evolution of Gnosis in the Greek world and the development of Christianity. He notes that Saint Paul first was a gnostic before his conversion; the prevailing ideas of both gnosis and the phrenes of Homer. "In those days Christ ranked with Bacchus or Dionysus. In the case of the phrenes, when the hero is killed, the phrenes leave him by the mouth, or by above, but that which goes to the lower regions is the psyche... It is exactly the same in Chinese philosophy where the shen is the masculine soul that goes [rises] up to the gods; the kuei soul is female; It sinks down to the darkness... you see, the Chinese understood man as consisting of two parts...Now this kuei soul according to Eastern and Greek tradition is not immortal...it slowly loses its form and vanishes into the lights of the Heavens... The little flame from my breast rushed forth and sought to merge with this figure.

What has happened here? Well, a sort of mystic union. The ego attempts to merge, or unite with the universal Self. The ego-self shows vivid desire; flame is always vivid desire to merge-- and where would that lead? To a seeming death--or to something new. Jung concludes, to the Western mind, the overly close parallels of opposite, of black and white, of hot and cold, of far and near, etc. creates a complete state of unconsciousness, a collapse of clarity. In its place, complete confusion, a state much like insanity comes to reign. Opposing factors coming too close together would render many people in a state of complete disorientation. They lose their values, their sense of rightness and have no idea what is wrong with themselves. They just feel that they simply don't care. In the mind of Kundalini, is the snake darkness? Is it light? Is it male or female? Perhaps it is both. How so? With new consciousness, what then am I? Is my 'self' enlightened, or a self, dis-integrated? However, the self may be righted again, says Jung, by dropping deeper into the Chakras system, into the water to quench the fire.

* This article, a reader favorite appeared her previously April 9, 2009

Rama Is Strength for the Weak

"Rama is but a synonym for God." --The Way to God by MK Gandhi

The power of the name. Rama writes Gandhi is his book of short meditations, The Way to God, "is the strength of the weak. This strength is not to be obtained by taking up arms... It is to be had by throwing oneself on his name." So it is, Gandhi writes, that the soul needs the "matchless and pure strength of pure faith."

"There is something infinitely higher than intellect that rules us, even the skeptics." In Gandhi's world, even skeptics come to a place in life where they feel they need something better, more than the mind and its intellect. They need something outside of themselves, he writes. "If one puts a conundrum before me [Gandhi], I say to him, "You are not going to know the meaning of God or prayer unless you reduce yourself to a cipher." One must be humble enough in his view to recognize that despite the human talents and intensive intellect, one remains but a mere particle of the universe. The world is composed more fully of itself than to be merely just that one. Likewise, a mere intellectual regard for life and its element is insufficient. "It is the spiritual conception which eludes the intellect, and which alone can give one satisfaction," insists Gandhi.

Faith transcends reason. Most often when our intellect is in defeat, in despair, it is the sudden rising of faith which comes to our rescue. "I ask that you restore the belief that has been undermined... Start with the faith that is also a token of humility, and an admission that we know nothing, that we are less than atoms... [I say so] because the atom obeys the law of its being, whereas we, in the insolence of our ignorance, deny the law of nature... I then used to hug the name of Rama in my childhood." It was the continuation and the development of faith, for in Gandhi's world his eye may be plucked, his worldly goods taken and still the thief will have nothing. For he has not taken Rama, the power of living faith.

Spiritual Intuition within Sufism

"Rumi was fully aware that... spiritual awareness and comprehension had dimmed since the time of the Prophet[Mohammed]." -- Sufism: Love and Wisdom by Jean-Louis Michon & Roger Gaetani

Writing in his book, Sufism: Love and Wisdom, French scholar Jean-Louis Michon notes that "both the Sharia path and Tariqa path, the laws and spiritual path, existed from the beginning." He attributes a decline in practice during this period, the 13th century, to a tendancy towards forgetfulness and complacency in the collective minds of believers. Thus it became necessary in the minds of inspired believers in Rumi's day to institute more clearly discernable forms; making formulations more explicit, it was thought, would call those to renewed fervor in the Quran or Koran, and "breathe new life into spiritual intuition." The poet was inspired.

As spiritual matters, Truths and Faith may not easily be contained or systemized.  It is possible that within the writings of even a single author there may be seeming inconsistencies; viewed with the heart moreover the mind, many of these curiosities fade away.While elaborate and systemic forms of Islamic practice may not have been a feature in its earlier days, by the time of Rumi, it was increasingly present, contained within Islam. And while such formulations are not necessary for the spiritual life, its presence constituted a guide and a companion of sorts for those disciples of the Tariqa. If, in later years writes Michon, there are similarities between Sufism and other monotheistic traditions, it is because "in certain cases there are borrowings from other traditional sources."

In Sufism, a doctrine does not exist merely for its own sake. Rather it is because it may serve as a guide on the path, if you will. The author of this book, Michon concludes, "doctrine is the key to open the door... a guide to lead the traveler..." each one unique, and many, though all on one path. Once arrived, it may be discarded.

Mature Innocence in Love*

"Innocence is a mystery greater than evil." James Hillman

Innocence in the soul suggests a state in which one exists unwounded by the everyday challenges and trials of the world. Recovering innocence is to refrain from self-cruelty, or the equally prevalent cruelty inflicted upon others, to work and live in such a way as to gain in the strength needed to live a creative life. Spirit moves in innocence.

Innocence in adult life amounts to a renewal, a return to the essential elements necessary to the life of a Creator. It is more than unknowing; in this sense, innocence is not the least opposed to sophistication, to its opposite, a childlike state of openness that finds itself needed in a maturity which is an agile, and graceful continuity. If this is not in evidence, then the perceived maturity is not. Rather, it is simply a form of avoidance  without inherent value. Innocence is the vital element of all forms of play. Experience is key as the buddha taught. Children learn largely by experience.

Innocence is an often overlooked element of deep forgiveness as part of the restorative quality in the soul. Lifes' injuries are nearly unavoidable. However in deep forgiveness, over time, the wounds may be exchanged for the delights and joys of innocence discovered in shared experiences. Maturity need not mark or weigh us down with its cares or disappointments.

Another fertile area of life in which innocence makes its appearance is in love. In mythic terms, love and marriage are markedly different experiences for men and women. The god Eros gains in stature, in strength upon his marriage;  in doing so writes Robert Johnson in his book, She "each woman in marriage must terminate her innocence and childlike naivety," a difficult, but essential experience for the mature feminine psyche. In the evolving process of maturity, a woman while not directly corresponding to her mate, influences and spurs his own development.

At different points in their parallel lives** together, woman who most often bears the light in a man's life, finds that she has nothing to give to him--he simply just isn't looking, or able to look into the light she presents to him. While tangled with him, she may fear as a consequence, what she has then to lose. "There is something in the unconscious of a man that wishes to make an agreement" that she will not look too closely or too carefully at him; yet in maturity she does look, and she must. Like the biblical garden of Eden, the pair in love find one another in innocence; their love experience is powerful. And it must be so to propel them into the experiences that comprise their shared lives. Yet as time unfolds, disappointment and disillusionment inevitably arise.

Paradoxically it is only in forgiveness, in innocence, that the otherwise harsh judgements of one towards the other may be set aside for a return to the Beloved, to the innocence of the earlier garden of Eden, a paradise she may have feared lost.

* A reprint of a reader favorite article that appeared here on July 6, 2009

**a figure of speech.