The False-Self, Healing

"This was also the point in my life when I became a master at masking my true thoughts."    --an unknown blogger

Simple Mindedly browsing though some blogs, I came upon this curious and very honest statement, "this was also the point in my life when I became a master at masking my true thoughts..."
How many of us relate to this? One guesses very many; it seems that one of our many fears is that we will not be accepted as we are, that we apparently see ourselves fearfully as a certain type of monster. While there are those rare individuals in every society who rub against the grain, some who are evil, for most of us this is a fear we face each and every day.

Recalling the words of R.D. Lang, "every man is involved whether or to the extent to which he is being true to his nature." The false-self as Lang views it is the complement of an inner, spiritual self, if you will, which is occupied with maintaining its identity and freedom by being transcendent, unembodied, and thus never grasped, pinpointed, trapped or possessed.
Its aim, writes Lang in his book, The Divided Self, "is to be a pure subject, without any objective existence. Thus except in certain safe moments, the individual seeks to regard his existence as the expression of a false-self, not himself.

 In spiritual terms, this is devastating, and it is very common. How often do we encounter the "fake" smile and the yawn which quickly follows it? How often do we feel divided, yet proceed with the response that is expected, even when it feels untrue to our deeper self?
And how often must we force ourselves to comport an attitude which we don't feel yet believe for social reasons to be obliged? In some societies these behaviors are usual and expected; societies in which the group is more valued than individuals frequently demand this behavior; one learns, 'a smile often hides a frown.' And in these groups, this behavior is normative.

Yet here in the West, often there is the sense of a dis-connect with the self and others. We are afraid to say who we are, or what matters most in our short lives; maintaining this stance may lead to a sense of grief, depression or loss over time.
As Lang expresses the situation, having an identity for the self, a private identity and another identity developed for the consumption of others is at times functional, and also may be at times non-functional leading to a sense of dis-reality, a feeling of not being real, a fake.
While living one's truth is not always easy, healing the self, gaining a perspective beyond the solution of the "false-self" is very healing to a soul; the soul seeks its original wholeness.

The false, divided self is like a child, eternally small, anxious, weak and not responsible for what happens in any given interaction. This is because a feeling arises that it wasn't truly me who did those things--it was someone else. Alternatively, there is a sense that one may do things--but only to a point-- because the truer, inner self would not go that far, or allow those thoughts or behaviors--would they? So it's not me.

The end point of many spiritual traditions is to encourage the maturity of the individual, to acknowledge the rightness of all creation, individuals included, so as to bridge the gap, with the clear knowledge, the belief in the harmony and rightness of matters to each one.
This existential dawning of both 'false' and true, undivided, self is widespread across today's societies; writers as diverse as Henry Fielding, Kierkegaard, Sartre, D.H. Lawrence and Carl Jung have acknowledged its role in the modern world. It is becoming a constant theme as societies settle into an industrialized, group identity. This leaves little room for the self, so you then must carve a whole one.

What You See Is Not Always Golden*

"When psychologists don the cloak of expert in areas in which they have no more authority than the average man--that is, when they invade religion, ethics, and politics--they will often be found...to be wearing very little, and sometimes nothing at all." --The Emperor's New Clothes by W.K. Kilpatrick 

In the story of The Emperor's New Clothes originally as written by Hans Christian Anderson, naturally enough, is about an Emperor, a proud man, although sometimes prone to insecurity about how his subjects regard him, who values their esteem and respect above everything. Like many of his kind, he is very susceptible to flattery, as well as wanting to be able to prove his superiority over his subjects.

One day, two con men arrive in the country and realise they can exploit these weaknesses of the Emperor to their financial advantage. Disguising themselves as fashion designers, they gain access to the Emperor and tell him they are the most talented craftsmen in the land, able to create the most fashionable clothes from the finest material. The Emperor is terribly impressed by their sales pitch and immediately commissions them to create the most extravagant ceremonial robes for him to wear at the next royal procession. An event where he would be sure to be seen and admired by all his subjects.

Of course, the con men have a ruse that they know will both confound the emperor and make them rich without any real effort at all. So, when they start to "make" the fabulous robes, they invite the emperor to choose the fabric, and ingeniously show him a roll of material, apparently so fine, it is invisible to all but the most discerning clients. Now, the Emperor could not see this marvellous cloth for the simple reason that it did not exist, but could he admit it? Well, he could not, not even to himself.


Neither could the Emperors courtiers; they could see no cloth, but they were not about to admit it; if the Emperor could 'see' it, then indeed it must exist. Anyway, no one wanted to acknowledge that they lacked the discernment to be able to see such finery. The con men finish the "robes," receive their payment and sensibly disappear, never to be seen again in that part of the world. In the days leading up to the royal procession, the city was abuzz with rumours about the wondrous outfit the emperor was to wear. Expectations could not have been higher.

The Emperor, himself, was even more convinced of the reality of his robes; even though he sensed himself to be a fraud, so lacking discernment as he did, whatever uneasiness he felt was more than compensated by the high praise the robes received from all those around him. "Such fine stitching", "so beautifully cut", "what lovely colours" they chorused. The day of the procession arrived, and with full pomp and ceremony. The emperor paraded through the city - well - stark naked. The citizens, though, were not about to admit that what they could see or not, as it happened, cheered and roared their approval of the emperor and his new 'suit of clothes.' This happy, if a little undignified delusion would have continued unhindered, except for one thing, or rather one quite small child.

The child, one of the many spectators, was waiting expectantly to see the emperor and the much heralded robes, but what did he see? A naked emperor; unable to stay silent, he shouted out, "He's completely naked". Of course, those around him laughed at his 'stupidity' and told him to shut his mouth. The child insisted, "But he is, he is...". Well, to bring this tale to an end, eventually the crowd became restive; uncertain whispering broke out, as did the occasional guffaw of laughter. Then, like a punctured balloon, the pomp began to deflate as spectators, courtiers and Emperor alike realized that what the child was saying was indeed true. I don't have to describe the subsequent humiliation and deflation that followed.

It also carries another equally powerful message. After all, it is only the child who sees through the charade. The story of the Emperor's new clothes tells us that overweening pomposity and grandeur usually gets its come-uppance, and sometimes from the most unlikely source. For after all, how could a small, ordinary child be a threat to the highest authority in the land?" version by: http://www.critpsynet.freeuk.com/Baker.htm

In the Land of Oz, there lives a fairy godmother, a wicked witch , an innocent young girl and a small, tremulous man hiding behind a curtain, so as to seem to be something else. That is, until he's uncovered. In his book, The Zen of Oz, Joey Green writes, "Oz is actually governed by the Tao." Does The Wizard of Oz "touch a spiritual chord in each one of us because it has a certain Zen to it?"

Dorothy while searching for her place in the world experiences a series of mis-adventures in which at one point, in a cyclone, she is knocked unconscious. She then, we learn, enters into a mysterious, dream-like world. Starting off on a path called the Yellow Brick Road, the tale's author, Frank Lyman Baum, recounts to us, that she, along with her dog, Toto, and others encountered along the way go to find The Wizard of Oz. "The Wizard while claiming to be beneficent, rules Oz through fear and manipulation-- from behind a curtain.

He extols himself, like the Emperor in the previous story as "great and munificent," writes Green of the discovery of the Oz castles, and the little man otherwise known, but the unseen, Wizard of Oz. It is like in the previous tale again, a small, harmless creature, this time a tiny dog rather than a child who runs towards the Wizard behind the curtain, pulls it back to reveal the truth about  Oz. The Wizard, now humiliated, makes amends to Dorothy and her party by promising his help to return her home.

The theme of these stories, it may be said is that one should not insult the real with the unreal. For if you do, you too will at once revel in your own nakedness.

*This article appeared here on January 14, 2010