Eros In Venus

"Sexual desire without Eros wants the thing in itself." -- The Four Loves,  C.S. Lewis

Venus, the goddess of love in Greek mythology and Eros, god of the same are often bandied about; today science and technology have made us too smart, too slick for something so imprecise as a myth. And yet author C. S. Lewis, most famously wrote about this. Lewis, who is the author of many 20th century works, is best known for Narnia.

About Eros and Venus he writes, Eros without Venus is for lack. Owing to the ancient devotion of the Romans, erotic principle well observed Eros on its own was something altogether different than when enfolded in Venus. As Lewis explains, the 'carnal element within Eros I intend to call Venus.'

"Sexuality,' he adds, ' operates without Eros, or as part of Eros."

It is not necessary to feel anything more than attraction or desire to activate that part of the equation which functions wholly by instinct. And Lewis hastens to add that he writes without moral or other notions, some such as the thought that sex 'with love' is pure while without love it is something else; nor does Lewis seek to describe the activities of Eros 'under a soaring and iridescence which reduces the role of the sense to a minor consideration.'

Eros in Venus is Lewis'; contribution to a description of what the ancients saw as estimable, worthy of a spiritual cause, a religion of degree. This experience he describes as the 'in loveness of the Beloved.' When one first beholds another, it as if he is captured, so captivated may one be by the gazing upon who has inspired this. In a simple, general delight, pre-occupied with all that the one may be, a thirst develops to simply know the creature of ones' gaze, to behold in totality. While in this state one really hasn't the leisure to thing about carnal matters; rather the thought of the person takes precedence. While filled with desire, he may be satisfied to continue in reverie and contemplate this creature whom one may call beloved.

In contemplation, the arrival of Eros, erotic love arrives as if a 'tidal wave, an invader taking over and reorganizing his sensuality. Sexual desire without Eros, wants it, the thing in itself; Eros while in Venus wants the Beloved. While one may want a woman not for herself but for the things she may provide, in Eros one wants a particular person--that person for the person them self. This is the Beloved created through some mysterious activity of Eros; in Eros at its most intense, the beloved is needed, craved even for their very self, distinct and unique from all others, admirable in itself. And it's importance is far beyond the lover's need.

While certainly hard to explain, its metaphysical aspects may be explained thus, 'I am in you, you are in me. Your heart is my heart, and my heart is part of your heart alone.' So without Eros, sexual desires, like every other desire is simply about our self. Eros makes it uniquely other focused. Now it's about the Beloved one. The distinction between giving and receiving blurs, indeed it's obliterated when Eros is in Venus.

On Friendship

"Friendship must be about something." --C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis wrote a classical interpretation of many emotions central to human life. In his book, The Four Loves, he addresses the meaning of friendship. Drawing upon rich resources such as the ancient Greeks, Romans, traditions borne through millennia, his view may be termed as western, if not universal.

Lewis delineates the many views of friendship; he describes it as mutuality, as 'seeing the same truth, looking outward, much as French writer, St. Exupery does; he explores friends in the context of erotic love; the search for Beauty, the engagement of spirituality, companionship, and he asserts that it's the least jealous of all the loves.

Where Lovers seek privacy, friends experience enclosure between themselves and the 'herd' rushing around them, and they may not be jealous so are often willing to admit another into their circle.
The American poet Emerson posed the question of a friend several times, simply asking, 'do you care about the same truths as I do?' The answer to this is the point at which a companion may move to a friend.
Shared activities and insights may be a draw for companions who 'share the road.' But a deeper, inner sense recognizing certain truths brings them into the realm of friend.

And while friends may not fully draw the same conclusions, they generally agree on the importance of questions. Seeing the shape of the world in similar fashion draws them to similar questions, if not responses.

Further Lewis argues simple friendship is entirely free of the need to be needed. He writes, "in a circle of true friends, each is simply what he is: stands for nothing but ones' self."

While Eros seeks out naked bodies, friendship seeks naked personalities. There is no absolute duty to friend anyone, nor is there a legal contract such as marriage. 

Friendship comes freely, entirely unencumbered with these other types of strictures.
Yet in modern, industrialized societies friendship is so often undervalued in favor of contractualized relationships as if these are somehow inherently better, more legitimate.
One cannot fail to notice the number and degree of divorces that abound in any given community.

Friends form moreover an appreciation of each other. They not only travel the same roads but their values within the realm of truths inform their judgement, leaving them more clear-eyed about one another.
They are observant of a mutual love and knowledge, and this forms itself into an appreciation a sentiment that often leaves one feeling in his deepest heart, humbled, what is he among those seemingly better, how lucky to be.
And when together among these friends, there is the knowledge that each brings out as if by magic the better in one self, the best, the funniest, the most clever, the beauty. In the conversation, the mind opens to something more, a perception of the self previously unknown comes into view. Life has no better gift to give than a good friend or two.

Treasures, Our Abundance, Our Gift

While many of us have "stuff," collect stuff, keep stuff, we hang on to it-- even things we may no longer need or use. Sometimes we forget what stuff we have!
The more the stuff, the more the distractions taking us further from that really matters to us.  And while we are not all required to keep or give everything up, such as trading our day to day lives for that of a hermit, we might consider what we do have-- can we share?

While we may not feel an imperative to sacrifice, there are things we can do. First there is our treasure. Each one holds a treasure, stored up for just that moment. There is the tug then to share, because a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Your personal treasures are your wealth, your abundance, be it knowledge, your wisdom or experience, ability, faith or talent. Often treasure is the things we value the most, and paradoxically have the least control over.
Spiritually your treasure is you, unique. It need not be perfect nor inimitable, but it is something you have a lot of and can share. Treasure encompasses wonder.

Treasure for French philosopher, Descartes, is among the Passions of the Soul, first published in 1649. Describing what he calls generosity and wonder he writes that these particular passions are caused, strengthened and maintained by some movement of the Spirit. And he admits to his correspondent, Elisabeth, that it is difficult to 'disentangle these from the body and soul.' Further, he makes an attempt to classify the passions in this same writing. And he addresses both generosity and wonder, "generous people do good without self interest, they are courteous, gracious and obliging, living free from contempt, jealousy, envy, hatred, fear or anger for others."
Finally he contends that the imagination plays a significant part on the imaging of ones' treasures and what one may really hold.

Gathering Communities

We gather together to work, to learn, to grow; we gather into communities, towns, universities. People everywhere, they live in groups, they live in families; they cherish their friends and they spend time together, supporting and enjoying their ways and their company. We get sick, we go to hospitals to help us recover.
What all these things have in common, with each of us in our everyday lives, is that inescapable fact that humanity, as a species, seems hard wired for gathering.

 Into groups we collect and revel. Together. It all seems so natural. Why, by working together, supporting and accomplishing worthwhile tasks, what could be better?
The person who lives stalwartly alone, who is friendless, who has very little or no community to speak of, that is a person often pitied and eyed suspiciously. We exclaim, "are they ill? Why are they such loners?"
This all makes simple sense. It seems so natural to gather, to enjoy the company of our brothers and sisters, our loves and loved here on earth.
Yet when the matter turns to named things such as 'religion', many of us recoil. Why? Well, it seems we don't think to belong after all. Some don't want to belong. Thus reinventing the 'spiritual' wheel is okay.

In fact, it's better than okay. It may be for these persons, the only way to demonstrate their will to 'pull themselves up by the bootstraps.' Many among us think, in spiritual terms, that there are aliens around us, to be avoided at all costs.
Infected with perhaps a strong sense of humanist enlightenment, a person with such notions eschews anything of community within the context of faith.

Yet if a faith community is true, existing for a higher purpose, for the common good, then it is, it must be and it will do something. Let me say this again: Churches, mosques, temples, ashrams and so forth exist because they do something for others.
If they do not, they they exist not for long. Communities survive and thrive because of the activities of each of its constituents. What each of us contributes to the good of all, is the community.

It is this fact that escapes many in the blog-sphere. Simply talking isn't sufficient, nor are kind thoughts or nice words and graphics. Communities must do something, and religious communities continue and persist for this very simple reason!
 Join the collective, engage in acts of social justice. Learn about yourself from another's eyes.
Help a friend. Be a community, be a support.

Bids For Connection

Trying to hammer our points home, we try and try. Is part of the puzzle the way in which our words are used? Are we received in a way that feels genuine-- after all, mostly, we have a few simple wants at the end of each day. There is a longing for connection, to be felt, to be heard, to be seen, each of which is to be loved. To be loved more for who we are than what it is we do. Each of our lives has its own inherent dignity. How are we treating each other in any given moment?

Writer and thinker, John Gottman refers to these moments as bids for connection. And he says they are as much physical as they are spiritual. We want the one we are speaking to to turn and to listen to us, but we also want their heart to receive and consider our words. For it is deep within that our lives are in part made; while a first attempt may reduce the tension level, it doesn't always lead to the genuine heartfelt connection we often seek.
 Feeling safety in the prospect of vulnerability is possibly core to the ways of genuine spiritual connection with our self first and then others. Writing in his book, The Science of Trust, Gottman says "we can define the very nature of trust as having our partners best interests at heart, rather than just self-interest. Trust is the opposite of a zero sum game." Or perhaps another view is, that I can trust you to be as you are in any given place at any given time.

When we at first react to others, sometimes it's in 'wounded' mode so we can't really receive their message due to our perceived need to hang on tightly to our sense of effrontery or insult to our dignity.
And talk is cheap. We often, unconsciously even, regard others by what they do moreover than by what they say. And then no one wants to be the first to 'give in.' Finding the courage to be the one to make the first move, to overcome the very human reluctance to level, to be neither better nor worse than any other, can be scary.

 There are always risks to our daily interactions, and keeping in mind that love involves both giving and receiving, finding the courage to take the risk, to make the move is actually a very sacred gift to oneself as much as to others. These two essential elements, giving and receiving are the building blocks of the loving connections that we so often seek.
In bidding for connection, one may discover something that feels a whole lot better than fighting, and that together you are capable of producing something that's so much better after all.

A Theology of Evil

"The Devil has a whole system of theology and philosophy...which explains that created things are evil...in fact the whole universe is full of misery..." Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

According to the Evil One, the creator rejoices in the sufferings of men; the universe is filled with misery because the creator himself plans it and wills it. In myriad ways, the implication of a move toward what is good within a spiritual tradition, by definition, acknowledges its opposite, what is evil. This is an idea which has not been directly explored here before.

Evil is indeed the counterpoint to many if not most spiritual systems and modes of practice. Yet in a modern, pluralistic society such as the United States, its presence may be easily obscured by many factors, and it may be enveloped and packaged into a number of other ideas. Without clear, careful awareness of the implications of a thought or action, an individual or a mass movement, evil easily arises into our midst.

Thomas Merton writes-- indeed, says within this system, the Creator took real pleasure in the crucifixion of souls; the Christ came to earth so as to be punished. Punishment is in fact his chief goal for himself and for all others. The pair, the Christ and his creator, want nothing more than to punish and persecute; that mankind inevitably is in error, he is wrong, so much so that there is great opportunity to manifest the justice of the wicked.

In the cosmos of the Evil One, the first order of creation is Hell; it comes first, before all else. The proper devotions of the faithful are about evil so as to be cloaked with evil. It is so that man cannot escape his punishments, the justice that this One metes out.There is no escape for individuals, nor for society in this way; there is no mercy, for it has no place in these systems of justice by punishments. The suffering, the Christ and his cross have now been transformed into a new symbol, a symbol for the victory of Justice and Law.

The Evil One declares that it is Law and Justice, not Love that fulfills the teaching. "Law must devour everything,' writes Merton, 'such is this theology of punishment, hatred and revenge."
Those who live by this dogma, live for just punishments, and yet desire to successfully evade the very same for themselves. He or she will take care to see to it that others do not avoid suffering. This concern powers the believer. The chief mark of hell is that there is everything but mercy. God absents himself from hell.

His mercy is elsewhere. Those in agreement with the Evil One are perfect; they no longer have need of any mercy. It is perhaps because "they derive a deep, subconscious comfort from the thought that many other people will fall into hell which they themselves are going to escape."

By this feeling, this conviction they are saved. The Evil One makes many disciples; he furthers his conquest through announcements against sin, the evil of sin which is guilt. So don't feel guilty, lest you fall into sin! In syllogistic logic, the principle of pleasure is explored:
 pleasure is sin; all sin is pleasure.
Next comes the notion that since pleasure is practically unavoidable, indeed planted here by the creator, we have a natural tendency towards evil, our nature is evil; therefore practically no one can escape sins because pleasure is inescapable. And so in the philosophy of the Evil One, what is left except to live for pleasure, to live in the now--with no thought of anyone or anything else beyond the self?

Ironic how those lives are often miserably unhappy ones, isn't it? Yet it's all in the plan of Justice and Punishments devised by this creator who works without mercy or grace, explains Thomas Merton in his essay, "The Moral Theology of the Devil."

What Part of Me Believes That?

"Sometimes we are startled. Where did that come from? I didn't know I felt so strongly." -- Robert Johnson, writer, Jungian psychologist

As a student and one associated with the late Carl Jung, Robert Johnson carries on Jung's work. Jung, unlike many of his generation, was one who believed that the base root of most all personal problems is not functional, some described such as "toxic", "games," "setting fences and boundaries," but rather spiritual challenges or crises that are not limited solutions or positions; instead they are potentially limitless and as unique as the persons who pose them. These other terms have no place in the spiritual world; they are 'pop psychology' and not terribly helpful. Sometimes they are denigrating; often they indicate power seeking by the one who utters them. The Simple mind avoids thoughts like these because people are greater than the sum of their mistakenness and sometimes confusion.

We can learn by examining our issues closely. What is it about me that feels this way? Why do I think that? What part of it sets off this (intense) reaction in me? Robert Johnson takes up a small part of this issue writing, "We remember getting worked up in a conversation and blurting out some strong opinion that we didn't know consciously we held." And we are startled by this sudden revelation not only to those listening but in our self equally! There is this sudden surge of emotional energy and maybe we suddenly find we are being our self, because what constitutes our self is the totality which necessarily includes our unconscious pronouncements. These "hidden parts of our self have strong feelings and want to express themselves."

Sometimes the hidden or unconscious part of our self is zany, sometimes its out of sync with social norms; sometimes it's embarrassing, violent, or humiliating when these facets of the self, parts of our personality, abruptly emerge. Other times, points of talent or strength arise, suddenly surprising us with their skill and clarity. As we grow, we may conclude that we are a different kind of person than we previously thought. Complicating matters, our qualities both positive and negative, emotional and intellectual may or may not arrive at precisely the most appropriate moments. This can leave us feeling strongly for or against someone or something and having the intellectual thought, Why? We may not yet understand.

Into the mix, our self definition is called into play; we are challenged by it. The unconscious is a huge energy system. Like others have famously observed the heart has its reasons, and the reception of its images and messages can be deeply informative to our spiritual and growing selves.

Sensuality, Sentiment and Love

"Sentimentality must be clearly distinguished from love"  --Karol Wojtyla

So much of our deepest, spiritual longings center around acceptance, both of self and other. We want to freely love and be loved, what some call "unconditional love."

Yet in the everyday world, in the practice life, this can be confusing, contradictory even. We consider the element of free will and its role in love, yet with free will and our natural responses to others, love and sex can become disordered, confused for something that it ultimately may not be. 

Writing in his book, Love and Responsibility, Karol Wojtyla notes that, "however, as we know, a human person cannot be an object for use. Now, the body is an integral part, and so must not be treated as if it were detached from the whole person." 

Doing so threatens to devalue a person. Let me say here, there is no such thing as pure sensuality, such exists in animals and is their proper instinct. What is "completely natural to animals is then, sub-natural to humans." 

This is to say that sensuality by itself, while a natural response to a body of the opposite sex, is not love. Sensuality may be love when it is open to inclusion of the other elements such as desire, friendship, good will, patience, understanding, and so forth.
Alone, sensuality is notoriously fickle, seeing only a body, turning to it simply as a possible object of enjoyment. And it is not only the physical presence of a body which may trigger sensuality, "but also the inner senses such as emotion and imagination (a sense-impression); with their assistance, one can make contact with a body of a person not physically present."

However this does not go to show that "sensuality is morally wrong itself. An exuberant, and readily roused sensual nature is the making for a rich, if not more difficult, personal life." Sensuality can indeed be a factor for making a free will love, an ardent and fully formed love.

Sentimentality as an experience must be and is clearly distinct from sensuality. As previously stated, a sense-impression typically accompanies an emotional response (a "value" response). Direct contact by persons of the opposite sex are always accompanied by a direct impression which may be an emotion. The inclination to respond to sexual values such as masculine or feminine, should be called sentiment. 

Sentimental susceptibility is the the source of affection between persons. In contrast to sensuality where the most immediate sense-impression is perhaps the body, sentimental regard views the person as a whole; it includes the body in its sense-impression, but does not limit itself to that aspect.
Sexual value then continues as the totality, the oneness of the person. Affection is not an urge to consume.

It is appreciative, it therefore goes with the values ascribed to beauty, to a strong feeling and value for a person in their masculine or feminine natures. 

However in affection, in sentimentality, a different desire than simple use or lust is evident; it is the desire for proximity, for nearness, a longing to be together in a physical presence. Sentimental love "keeps two people close together, it binds them, even if they are physically far apart. 

This love causes them to move in a similar orbit. It embraces memory, imagination and also communicates with the will." Tolerance, understanding and tenderness enter into their relationship. Being a love not wholly focused on the body, this love is sometimes called spiritual love. 

However with distance, sentimental love may turn to disillusionment. So it is not always immediately apparent that a particular sentimental love is really able to discern the true, inner values of a person. Thus love cannot be "largely a form of sex-appeal."
For a human love to grow, Wojtyla says, "it must become integrated, a whole to a whole, person to person." 

Without this developing integration, a love is not a durable, human love; thus it simply dies.

The Way to God: M.K. Gandhi

First published as The Pathway to God, the book was later republished under the new title, The Way to God in 1999. Both books are essentially the same text, and their author remains Mahatma K. Gandhi. It is a small book outlining M.K. Gandhi's undying faith. As a Hindu, the author organizes the text into four sections: Intellectual Foundations, Moral Discipline, Spiritual Practice and Spiritual Experience.

In the Gandhi mind, Hinduism is a philosophy since it is neither a highly organized religion nor a way of life. It is based on faith and allows an individual the freedom to define his way to God. While admiring elements of Christianity, Gandhi preferred Hinduism, because it allows a form of universal worship, incorporating prayer and forms of worship from other major faith groups. Mahatma Gandhi sincerely believed in the Oneness of God. The names and images for the Oneness may be different, but as Judaism expresses it, Adonai Echad! God is One. The man, the karma yogi, Gandhi, was action incarnate. He was a man of God which few would fail to recognize.

Intellectual Freedom

On God:
* God is One; there is no second.
* God is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient
* God is a mysterious power.
* Goodness is God. God made man in his own image.
* God is Truth, Love, Life, Light.
* God's Law is eternal.
* God's mercy is infinite.
He allows us freedom.God is the hardest of taskmasters.
* God has many names.
* God is incarnate. He has no absolute form. He dwells within all living things.

The Soul:
* Divine spark
we may not be God, but we are of God as a drop of water is of the ocean.
* Man is the image of God.
* Life is a mere bubble.
If we shatter the chains of egotism,we share in the life of humanity,
in its dignity.
* Life and death
treasure suffering and death, appreciate their cleansing and purifying character.
* Freedom of Choice.
Man has reason, discrimination, free will. Man is the maker of his destiny.
Man is no beast or brute in that he may choose the manner in which he
uses his freedom.
* Man's Primary Duty.
The prime duty of every person is to look carefully within himself as he is, and spare no pains to improve himself. Realize the wickedness of injustice, vanity and the like; do his best to combat them.

The World
* The world is one body.
God has so ordered the world that no one can keep his
goodness or his badness exclusively to himself.
* Universe:
A family of nations. We are taught to regard the
whole of humanity as one indivisible, undivided family.
* The problem of Evil.
If there is good [in the world], there must be evil.God is long suffering and patient.
* Pair of opposite forces.
The distinction between good and evil is not unimportant.
* God's hand behind good and evil.
God is at the bottom of bothgood and evil. God is symbolically speaking, light.
* Blessings of calamity.
Every calamity brings a sensible man downon his knees. He sins.
He cries out to God for his help.

Moral Discipline

* What is truth?
There is so much untruth delivered into the world.Truth is within ourselves.
Every wrongdoer knows that he is wrong, deep down. Truth and
righteousness must forever remain the law in God's world.
* Act fearlessly.
We are surrounded by so much falsehood. Act fearlessly
upon what one believes is right.
* The pursuit of truth.
The pursuit if truth is true bhakti, the way of love.

Love

* Truth and love.
Truth and love are faces of the same coin.Without truththere is no love. True love is boundless like an ocean.
* Love unites.
* Love is life.
There is only life where there is love. Hatred ever kills.Love never dies. What is obtained by hatred proves a burden; it increasesitself. What is obtained by love is retained for all time.
* The law of love.
Love governs the world.
* The religion of hisma, violence.
Man as an animal is violent.Progress towards Ahisma, nonviolence.

Self-Restraint

* Restraint should be voluntary.
Choose self-restraint. A man who chooses self-indulgence will be a
bond slave to his passions.
* Control of the palate.
One should eat to keep the body going.
* Conquest of lust.
The conquest of lust is the highest endeavorof a man or woman's existence. Soul-force comes only through God's grace.Grace does not come upon a man
who is a slave to lust.
* Sublimation of Vitality.
Vitality is dissipated by evil thoughts.
* Restraint versus Suppression.
Body and mind must unite. It is harmfulto let one or the other go astray. Always aim at complete harmonyof thought, word and deed.

Selfless Service

* Self-less service is a source of joy.
Learn to use the body not for slavery, not for evil. Use the body for the purpose of service so long as it exists. Such an attitude brings real happiness and joy.
* Self realization.
The way to God is to see him in creation, in others,in service, in love.
* Salvation.
Strive for the Kingdom of Heaven. Service leads to salvation.

Spiritual Practice

* Dis-belief is a disease.
It is fashionable to dismiss God. A man without faith [in God] is like a drop of water out of the ocean.
* Testimony of Saints.
True faith is the approbation of the reasoned experience.Belief in prophets
is not idle superstition.
* Faith and reason.
Faith begins where reason stops.
* Child-like faith.
Have the faith of a child, innocent and simple.
* How to acquire faith.
Faith comes slowly. It is not acquired by force or reason.Prayer, experience, meditation, reading, singing all aid inthe development of faith.

Prayer

* The nature of prayer.
Prayer for the divine mind is unchangeable.
* Source of peace and light.
Men struggle with dark and light. Prayer is the means of bringing orderliness, repose and peace into our daily lives.
* He who hungers for the awakening of the divine, must fall back on prayer.
* Patience is necessary for success.
* Begin and close the day with prayer.

Meditation

* The virtue of silence.
The "divine radio" is always playing if we take a moment to listen to it...
* Silence facilitates co-union with God.
* True meditation.
Close all eyes and ears except to the object of one's devotion.
* The power of the name. Rama, God , is strength to the weak.
Repetition of his name brings strength.

Self-Surrender

* Self surrender brings joy.
God is an exacting master. He is a jealous Lord. I have been a willing slave to this master for more than a half century.
* God moves and protects all.
To see the face of God, we must learn, each oneof us,to stand alone. God is our infallible guide, our help.
* Dedicate all to God.

Spiritual Experience

* The Blessed feeling of God's power.
I believe it is possible for every human being to reach that inexplicable state of bliss. See God face to face. If I did not feel the presence of God within me, I would be a raving maniac.
* Vision of God.
We cannot see God with our eyes alone. God is spirit, visible to the eye of faith.
* All that glitters is not gold. I know this.
* The ideal sage.
The yogi who can be called such, who is truly religious, moral, whose mind is not tainted with hatred or selfishness, who leads a pure life, who lives disinterested service, that man is truly wealthy, great or happy. The Yogi, therefore is, one who reflects on all the attributes of life, who keeps the vision of the sun, undisturbed, whose mind is serene, so that thunder rocks him to sleep--that man is realized a yogi.
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