When Scary You

There are times when others behave or speak in ways that are out of our comfort zone; in ways that we don't ordinarily think about or observe, and we may feel frightened or threatened. 
Remembering that it is someone who, them self, is feeling frightened and acting out that anxious mind isn't always the first thing we think about.
It is likely, after all, that when we are uncomfortable, threatened-- feeling small to your big, the first response is to lash out, to even up the situation. So we become loud, stubborn, overbearing, competitive.

And meeting others on level ground can be initially difficult when what we most want is to beat and retreat. However standing and announcing that they are scary right now may be just one way to break thorough to a truth that is otherwise hard to know.
 Dealing with others on a level playing field transforms you and the interaction into something less intimidating and more manageable.
You are now much more an equal; think about it-- people who aren't feeling bigger or smaller in comparison to others rarely are antagonistic. That is a spiritual truth all can ponder.  

Feeling frightened or seeming scary isn't just limited to yelling, belligerence or overtly acting out; silence, other non-communication or when the person is speaking calmly, but not making a whole lot of sense, is admittedly scary too.

Regardless of the form of "scary" which you may perceive, meeting others on level ground makes all the difference in a relationship with others. What is this meeting on level ground about? Zen teacher, Diane Rizzetto writes that it is about measures of self worth. She notes that many of us, many times place people below or above ourselves. We move about our daily life with a sometimes unconscious "measure stick."

Like Thomas Merton noted, we categorize and classify others, and sometimes dismiss them. Dag Hammarskjold observes that by avoiding those occasions of comparison, we are more humble, not better nor worse than any other. We then meet as equal, equally human. Some use these measures to avoid uncomfortable feelings they have; though we are neither better nor worse as human beings, we often have the impulse to place personal responsibility elsewhere, to fault find; looking at our self with the mind of not better nor worse can over time lead to a greater self acceptance and feeling for others because in relationships, we don't need to convert others or clone our self. It's one step off the spinning wheel of suffering.

The Great Truth Just Moved

"There is in truth deception, and in deception, truth." -- a Simple mind

An old story about Mara, the evil one, goes like this: One day Mara and his disciples came upon a man in the road. His face glowing, they curiously inquired into the cause of the man’s pleasure. It seems the man had just discovered something of the Truth.

Upon reporting this to their master, Mara, the disciple was perplexed at his reaction. You, Mara, the One of Deception, does it not perturb you that this one has come into a moment of Truth? Mara replied that it did not.

You see, Mara opined, that no sooner do people discover a part of the Truth, a moment of the Whole, then they make a belief out if it.

The great Hindu Master, Sri Aurobindo once stated that no sooner does one discover that there is a certain truth, that, then, they often chase after it. They lose their common sense. For Truth was about them all the while; they have only just noticed it! Whether you recognize or understand Mara, Quan Yin or any other sage, at any time in your life, is no matter to anyone else; the sages have always been about you.

In her book, Waking Up to What You Do by Abbess Diane Eshin Rizzetto, she writes about the “Certainty Principle.” Certainty is seductive. She says that often we desire to feel safe and comfortable via certainty. Sureness may arise out of personal experiences, but impermanence may alter the sum of those experiences. Things do change. Thus the Buddha emphasized that we must not believe the teaching alone; we must go out and discover it for ourselves.

Rizzetto writes, “truth [just] won’t be pinned down. Truth will not be pinned down with the word, the.” Truth defies definition because as soon as we try to grasp it, it changes. In this way it shares a close connection to reality. Reality is many faceted. There is no single valuable reality. Instead there are many parts of the whole. So what does this notion leave to us? It seems that we can trust, be truth, moment to moment. We can be as we are, as we find ourselves to be. This is awareness that the great masters speak about. It is just this moment, every moment together forms what we know about reality, about truth and about our selves.

Whether We Like It, Or Not

The Simple Mind returns

"All I can experience and work with is what my life is right now. That's all I can do." Joko Beck

In her book, Waking up to What You Do, Abbess Diane Rizzetto, explores the question that is posed by Joko Beck, who simply asks, "What prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?" The wealth and happiness of our own lives, it seems, is intricately tied into the wealth and happiness of others. Rizzetto notes that "true intimacy means standing openly with ourselves and others.

Misusing intimacy, especially sexual intimacy, relates to the ways we may separate ourselves from others, thus avoiding being absolutely present." We can then, in any moment avoid being absolutely present. This notion of separation forms a barrier, even in those moments of physical or emotional contact. Feelings or perceptions of disconnect or disunion may support notions of loneliness or isolation, they may even contribute to illness states.

While present moment may be a best, beautiful moment, fears and anxieties often intrude, and whether we like it or not, working to see them clearly to address the precepts so as to answer the question about 'what prevents us from living' is something that matters in the day to day business of living. "The key is to take an honest look at what is going on."

Related to this precept of not mis-using self or others is the thought that Ezra Bayda presents his reader in his book, At Home in the Muddy Water. He muses on several topics. One is about trust. Trust, says Bayda is "one of the trickier issues we meet in practice... When we feel betrayed by someone or something... [we] withdraw in anger... our sense of "self" has been shaken... Losing trust in someone [may set] sets off the fear of being abandoned or the fear of being overwhelmed."

What formerly held view can we then no longer support? What notion in our mind is disrupted? Often there is a strong impulse to view a person as a solid, a form if you will, to disregard the possibilities of impermanence. Observing others through our own lens, we judge them as "self." Projecting our intentions and our own motives, we think we see them. What we do see, over time, is that they are not our projections. We think that we don't then know them at all. Yet we do. Their character and unique self over time comes clearer into consciousness. "To see them with fewer filters, we feel betrayed. [And] when they don't meet our expectations... we can't trust them. In terms of their meeting our expectations, we can't."

As part of working through the most unique, personal and intimate experiences of our lives, to begin to view trust in real terms, to remain still with what arises is the willingness to just be, life as it is. Whether life conforms to our desires or not isn't the point. Life is as it is. That is the point, even if we don't like that point of life.

Living Awake and in the Truth, Part 2

Simple Mind is away from the computer. The following appeared here earlier this year, January 2, 2009.

Assumptions--are just that, assumptions.
To the Simple Mind, we are aware that things change, and in fact it is desirable because if they did not there would not be the opening for learning, for the new, a relief from what pains us, or hope. We would remain angry, fearful, resentful, confused. Pray for impermanence.
Working with this precept, we no longer try to escape the experience; rather like a scientist, we wait and observe our self, our reaction, our perceptions and what exists in this moment around us.
Reactions, like emotions, are automatic, they just happen. But what we choose to do isn't a happenstance. The will chooses and then we act. This is a freedom that we take so as to make best use and advantage of our circumstances.

What do we do when we find ourselves in the midst of gossip? What about that?
Sometimes we want to feel part of a group or an event by talking ill of another person, or deliberately excluding others, to feel more special or bonded -- us against them. Gossip is when we say things about others that are potentially harmful or slanderous to that other person -- with full knowledge of this in our mind.
This is distinguished from speaking about others with the intention of sorting out our thoughts or feelings, or problem solving.

Then there are the instant reactions that lead us into hurtful speech or action. What about when we feel insulted? How about when an emotion demands our attention?
Before beginning earnest practice, maybe we just walked away or changed the subject to avoid what we judged distasteful. Maybe we excused ourselves with the thought that "they deserve it, anyway."

Sometimes we counted to 10 or went for a walk before answering that insulting remark, that hurtful phrase. These tactics likely stopped or controlled our reactions, but to really move beyond, to move to a Simple Mind requires a different response. A response that perhaps to this point in our lives we are unfamiliar with.
We must through practice, in awareness, dismantle our habitual thoughts and patterns of behavior. These are habits which cause us to suffer; those perceived thoughts, the imagined self which keeps us in the dream.
When we gain in awareness, then our deepest beliefs and fears may be faced honestly and squarely. We respond to what is so, to reality as it is by experience, not driven by fear, anger or other passion. Our response is what is required, according to our will, our desire to be as we are.

With this precept, our practice becomes meeting life in all its possibilities, in its newness, and its sometimes strangeness.

And while certainty, feeling "sure" is seductive, and it can make us feel safe, prayers for change, for impermanence are part of the Way. As a Mahayana practitioner notes, 'when a flower dies, we don't cry, because we know flowers are impermanent.' Understanding this, we will suffer less and be joyful more. Impermanence is not negative!
Does it then, in the Way, mean that we have to lose all that we care for? Of course not; the community remains and is important. What is also important is that we not cling so tightly to persons or things, that we fail to recognize the nature of change.
So, to gain in skillfulness and practice of the precepts, we must turn to experience, the present moment as our guide, and not simply notions or intellectual ideas.

As Joko Beck has said, "when we experience for ourselves the transitory nature of beliefs, then it no longer has us in a strong hold. We can be freer from our requirements--freer to speak truthfully." Isn't it odd how those we care for most deeply, those who have meaning to us in our daily lives, are those for whom we most often hold deeply, and those whom we entrench in our faultfinding?

This is one of the ways in which we may avoid ourselves.
We are dishonest with ourselves first before the other. By focusing not on our own experience, but on what we think must be the experience of another, we criticize, nit-pick, fault. Sometimes, most often, those negative attributes are really our own.
Our own views may thus be frozen; we may not be acting from awareness of our selves-- what are we feeling, what is my perception/experience? If we do not take the critical self view, like that of a scientist, examining our own functioning, our own organism, faultfinding gains a hold. We react to something that may not even be real at all-- at least not real beyond our own mind, and then we suffer the consequences when the world rebuffs us, as it must.


Other ways of avoiding or not being truthful are several:

*Do I add to the story my own facts, interpretations or opinions as though they are true?

Try seeing yourself as the other person whom you spoke about. How do your words fit now? What is your experience?

*Do I keep silent? Do I comment when in a group about something I know, or do I allow it to pass by?

What is your intention in keeping silent? What is your experience? Do I take some advantage from not speaking?

As you practice, keep in mind that in the Simple Mind, speaking truthfully is neither better nor worse.

Living Awake and in the Truth part 2

Assumptions--are just that, assumptions.
To the Simple Mind, we are aware that things change, and in fact it is desirable because if they did not there would not be the opening for learning, for the new, a relief from what pains us, or hope. We would remain angry, fearful, resentful, confused. Pray for impermanence.
Working with this precept, we no longer try to escape the experience; rather like a scientist, we wait and observe our self, our reaction, our perceptions and what exists in this moment around us.
Reactions, like emotions, are automatic, they just happen. But what we choose to do isn't a happenstance. The will chooses and then we act. This is a freedom that we take so as to make best use and advantage of our circumstances.

What do we do when we find ourselves in the midst of gossip? What about that?
Sometimes we want to feel part of a group or an event by talking ill of another person, or deliberately excluding others, to feel more special or bonded -- us against them. Gossip is when we say things about others that are potentially harmful or slanderous to that other person -- with full knowledge of this in our mind.
This is distinguished from speaking about others with the intention of sorting out our thoughts or feelings, or problem solving.

Then there are the instant reactions that lead us into hurtful speech or action. What about when we feel insulted? How about when an emotion demands our attention?
Before beginning earnest practice, maybe we just walked away or changed the subject to avoid what we judged distasteful. Maybe we excused ourselves with the thought that "they deserve it, anyway."

Sometimes we counted to 10 or went for a walk before answering that insulting remark, that hurtful phrase. These tactics likely stopped or controlled our reactions, but to really move beyond, to move to a Simple Mind requires a different response. A response that perhaps to this point in our lives we are unfamiliar with.
We must through practice, in awareness, dismantle our habitual thoughts and patterns of behavior. These are habits which cause us to suffer; those perceived thoughts, the imagined self which keeps us in the dream.
When we gain in awareness, then our deepest beliefs and fears may be faced honestly and squarely. We respond to what is so, to reality as it is by experience, not driven by fear, anger or other passion. Our response is what is required, according to our will, our desire to be as we are.

With this precept, our practice becomes meeting life in all its possibilities, in its newness, and its sometimes strangeness.

And while certainty, feeling "sure" is seductive, and it can make us feel safe, prayers for change, for impermanence are part of the Way. As a Mahayana practitioner notes, 'when a flower dies, we don't cry, because we know flowers are impermanent.' Understanding this, we will suffer less and be joyful more. Impermanence is not negative!
Does it then, in the Way, mean that we have to lose all that we care for? Of course not; the community remains and is important. What is also important is that we not cling so tightly to persons or things, that we fail to recognize the nature of change.
So, to gain in skillfulness and practice of the precepts, we must turn to experience, the present moment as our guide, and not simply notions or intellectual ideas.

As Joko Beck has said, "when we experience for ourselves the transitory nature of beliefs, then it no longer has us in a strong hold. We can be freer from our requirements--freer to speak truthfully." Isn't it odd how those we care for most deeply, those who have meaning to us in our daily lives, are those for whom we most often hold deeply, and those whom we entrench in our faultfinding?

This is one of the ways in which we may avoid ourselves.
We are dishonest with ourselves first before the other. By focusing not on our own experience, but on what we think must be the experience of another, we criticize, nit-pick, fault. Sometimes, most often, those negative attributes are really our own.
Our own views may thus be frozen; we may not be acting from awareness of our selves-- what are we feeling, what is my perception/experience? If we do not take the critical self view, like that of a scientist, examining our own functioning, our own organism, faultfinding gains a hold. We react to something that may not even be real at all-- at least not real beyond our own mind, and then we suffer the consequences when the world rebuffs us, as it must.


Other ways of avoiding or not being truthful are several:

*Do I add to the story my own facts, interpretations or opinions as though they are true?

Try seeing yourself as the other person whom you spoke about. How do your words fit now? What is your experience?

*Do I keep silent? Do I comment when in a group about something I know, or do I allow it to pass by?

What is your intention in keeping silent? What is your experience? Do I take some advantage from not speaking?

As you practice, keep in mind that in the Simple Mind, speaking truthfully is neither better nor worse.

A world of wonder: entering into the precepts

Recalling that the Simple Mind practice is one in which we come to a more clear understanding of the words of Practice Principles through experience:

Caught in a dream of self--only suffering.
Holding on to self-centered thoughts--exactly the dream.
each moment, life as it is--the only Teacher.
Being just this moment--compassion's way.

--Practice Principles

The order of the precepts Diane Rizzetto gives may vary from other traditions, however she states that "the order I have chosen is that which most accurately reflects one most commonly discovered by my students." In other words she finds that her students' practice usually follows this pattern or order. In addition, she notes that there are in fact 10 precepts traditionally given; however she feels that the two omitted are dealt with indirectly within the others. The complete study of the 10 precepts is included in her study therefore.

Precepts "encourage us to go beyond the just don't do it. They invite us to willingly grapple with the slipperiness [or messiness] of what's the best action to take given the circumstances of any given situation." They direct our focus to conditions here and now, presently. Precepts help light the way through the more muddy times, and times when we're not so certain.
Does then taking up the precepts, the Way, mean that we never have a mean or jealous thought, that we're not afraid? Of course not. these are natural, human things that at one time or another we experience.

The Self

In some traditions the self is spoken about as something to be parted with, as a suffering in itself. However in the simple mind, it is a continuation of the classic teaching that 'all life arises out of and continues forth as a vast, fathomless, pure and clear empty mind, or Dharma.
As Dharma, it is constant, unutterable, flawless, selfless and undifferentiated. Dharma is then, the unnameable source of all life and living. It includes our everyday simple minds. And Dharma is even more. It is the realization of a mutual dependency, the knowledge that nothing comes about on its own. Following Dharma is to take action that is in harmony or addresses the common good with relation to all things. Yet this is not to say that you, me, the neighbor, be without individuality. Clearly we are perhaps 99 per cent alike, but the one per cent, differentiates us from another;even so, Dharma shows us to be finally one part of the whole.

To study the self is to forget the self.
This means that I am this, but not only this. The core of our practice with the precepts and Dharma is to challenge ourselves to look carefully, closely, and question our assumptions about what it is that makes the world real to us; focusing us on the awareness that assumptions of permanence are exactly that, an assumption.
By working with the precepts, the Dharma, sitting quietly in practice, we can train our mind to be less reactionary, less stressed and more focused on the now, this moment. Dismantling our habitual reactions, questioning our beliefs can lead to real peace, joy and just this moment.

About Simple Mind Zen

Diane Rizzetto is the Abbess and Guiding Teacher of the Bay Zen Center, Oakland California.
She is a dharma heir of Charlotte Joko Beck.

In her recent instructional book, Waking Up To What You Do, Diane wakes us up and inspires us with "a sink full of teaching."

Affirming the Practice Principles of the Ordinary Mind Zen School, Diane starts her talk with them:

Caught in a dream of self--only suffering.
Holding to self-centered thoughts--exactly the dream.
Each moment, life as it is--the only Teacher.
Being just this moment--compassion's way.