The Infinite Self

This article appeared here previously on January 12, 2009
"Choice occurs in the instant (Øjeblikket), which is the point at which time and eternity intersect." Soren Kierkegaard

The Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote: ...'that with such passionate clearness a man sees and knows over what he is in despair, but about what it is, escapes his notice... For the "immediate" man does not recognize his self, he recognizes himself only by his dress, he recognizes that he has a self only by externals... In possibility, everything is possible, thus a man can go astray in all possible ways. One form is wishful... the other form is melancholy fantastic--on one hand hope, on the other fear or dread... In order to will in despair, to be oneself, there must be consciousness of the infinite self.'

The self who one might think of as the 'original face,' the face that existed before you were born. Yet we are all blind by definition. We may see the other clearly, but not ourself. As Ezra Bayda writes in At Home in the Muddy Waters, 'to the extent that we're not aware...we're bound to follow this predictable path. When two people who don't know themselves reach the point of conflict, the result is a collision... even though it may be easy to see how unaware the other person is, our own blind spots are blind by definition. Yet these [persistent] conflicts are clues that we're in the dark... believing in our reaction is another tell tale sign of darkness to self. Many power struggles have resulted from a perceived notion of a failing, or loss of a good or promise to us. We then act to recoup what must be ours, partitioned, from our now enemy. But in the exchange, we are mired in both our hopes and our fears; we despair to will to be ourself, the face that exists now and infinitely.

Failure to work with, and work out our perceived 'need for power, our self-centered desires to possess, our fear based need to control results in hatred, intolerance and aggression. The blindness to self first, and towards the other second, is the source of all conflicts...without inner understanding, individuals and societies flounder,' writes Bayda.

Part of the simple mind, joy in relationships, comes not so much from getting what we think we need or from happiness, but from contact with our essential self, our infinite or original self. The expression of this connection is through generosity, a sharing of that self infinite. It is like a well, we drink of its unending source all that is essential.

Commentary 2-- Just This

In the study of the self, we find that wherever we go, there we are. Gaining this sort of awareness of the self is central to practice. Applying just this, we acquire the power and creativity to break out of our habitual defenses and thought habits so to experience reality as it is. When you do, you find that your anxiety level is reduced, your stress goes down, and in its place arises a new sense of the possible; that you are just this moment. Every moment is new and possible. That moment becomes a good thing; you open yourself to be curious, to learn more about the world around you, yourself. Take rest in what is real.

As we come to better understand the precepts, an awareness grows that points our attention to doing what is necessary. We ask and see more clearly what is required of us, and we do just that.

Being a scientist and examining our self, we come to see that we have expectations and requirements, first of ourselves and then of others. When these ideas or assumptions fail to correspond with reality, we suffer. Cutting through deception, we live more in this moment and find that it is a good. We may even begin to acquire the realization that often when we think it is the other, in reality it is ourselves who think, act or feel a particular way. Avoid spinning into the past or the fearful future. This moment is the only moment there really can be.

An old saying I learned as a child goes, "He who accuses, accuses himself." Being aware of a situation or an event does not make us bound to engage or respond. We may choose to do so, if it seems necessary, or we may stand back and let it play out on its own, in its own time.

Know that feelings are just feelings. They may guide or hinder us equally. Feelings arise and recede; when they're urgent at that moment things may seem clear. Later, we may, in a calmer mind see they were not, and then there's the damage we cause to ourselves and others. So there is a great deal of power in awareness. It may be increased and cultivated. Take the journey of the head to the heart through the precepts. They are a reliable guide.