Showing posts with label being. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being. Show all posts

Friday, June 7, 2013

Discovering Your Unlived Life

"Wouldn't it be great to just let go of your ego? Just live in the now and be enlightened? Paradox, the contrary opposites, are not ever truly separated; paradoxes make room for grace and mystery." --Living Your Unlived Life by R.Johnson and J. Ruhl

Authors Johnson and Ruhl write of many of the currents in modern thought, and while many others may write on the same topics, dispense the same or similar notions, these two authors are openly and clearly operating within the bounds of their mentor, Carl Jung. Many self styled spiritualists and life "coaches" may also advance the knowledge presented in the book, Living Your Unlived Life, though with less integrity or honesty, implying it to be their own thought or devises; in reality they too are one of the choir canting Jung equally. Not to be fooled, a Simple Mind seeks to track down ideas and their attribution.

Many have preoccupied themselves with various 'busy-iness' for so long that as the second half of life approaches, there is the strong impulse to push back, to 'forget' the many longings in a lifetime; despite a modern appetite for amusements and all kinds of diversions, the impulse to examine a path less often chosen is ignored. Will it be before long that we turn to our own inner longings, recognizing the need for living life that makes sense now, that is creative and renders satisfaction? Will this occur before death or only in the moments attending ones' passing? Feeling the press of growing tedium or vague dissatisfaction, some will turn, attend to this task and realize the riches from doing so. Living Your Unlived Life may just be the best, most, creative thing you've done.

There are those who will simply say that one must get rid of the 'ego/ I /self' and all will be well. Au contraire! write authors Johnson and Ruhl. Instead they note that without an informed, conscious ego, one is "psychotic, not enlightened… [One] can move the ego into relationship, in service to something greater."
In the second life, as we age and mature, an ego may serve to divinize, making parts whole. It may be a partial answer for what serves the greater good. Indeed,the 'ego' is central to the Holy Grail myth of medieval Europe. In concert with consciousness, the ego holds the reins of daily life; ego strength is what actually distinguishes typical, daily imaginings and playfulness from psychosis and absurdity.

Without potentially destroying your earlier accomplishments, destroying your connections to friends and loved ones, ruining your finances, living your un-lived life may be one of the most engaging times of your life. For some it's tinkering and adjusting, for others it's a 'do over' featuring a second career, meaningful creative solutions to the same time worn problems. As each person is unique, there are unique responses to the issues of living the 'second life' in real time, real world ways.

From this process of discovery of our self, we find that much of what remains undeveloped, un-lived is what seems too grand to bear. "This may seem silly, but if you look honestly at your life, you will find it's true," writes Johnson. Some for example, look for spirit in a bottle rather than inside themself; some seek ecstasy from others or from exterior experiences. And true for many is a knee-jerk reaction against change. The 'ego' simply doesn't like it'; it upsets the settled balance. We struggle to get the balance right for our self.

Engaging in the timeless art of Being rather than Doing is the major focus of the second life; in our earlier years we expended energies upon career goals, establishing and maintaining relationships, building financial security; with those tasks now largely in hand, many will find their mind wandering. It meanders at times, like a daydream of what might be; it dreams of situations we find either highly attractive or repulsing.
All this imagining may be taken together as symbolic, realizing over time greater and deeper self awareness, the beginnings of a peaceful life without regrets. "Midlife is a time of reappraisal in part because as we age, the realm of Being must become more predominant."

Discovering our un-lived life and responding to its promptings is a process the authors write about. Setting time aside during ones' day for moments of reflection, to connect with our deepest self is "not mindless daydreaming, zoning out… it's from a state of energized being" that we learn to recognize our self.

Bringing the "calmness and focus of Being into doing activities is a supreme achievement." Trace what or whom you love; follow what matters to you into your Being. Not every concern is meant literally. Some desires and fantasies are best thought out rather than lived. Engage with your symbols. Learn their meaning.

Through the recognition of your own personal symbols and expressive (visual, lyrical, spoken, physical) language, one may pull back together in greater wholeness parts previously buried or torn from a life story.

No one else can live your life for you, nor will they die for you when that time comes.
Actively imagining your story and where it will go from here is a choice and a challenge for you to decide.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Dharma, The Tao, The Way

The terms Dharma, Tao and the Way are familiar spiritual descriptions, often tossed around which come from several spiritual traditions, both East and West. Yet as the well known Indian physician and author, Deepak Chopra writes in his book The Path To Love, what may seem as separate is really not so, through interbeing. He discusses these traditions as long living in the human world, that they are in his view, rather more unified, that they inter-be as one.

"Dharma" is also translated as "law" or "righteousness." In India, today someone who follows the family tradition of work, worship, and social behavior is said to be in his "dharma." Modern Western society is not dharmic in any of these ways, since our children feel free to choose very different occupations from their parents', along with new codes of behavior and new places to live. In both East and West the rootedness of a dharmic society has been undermined in this century.

However, Dharma is more than social convention; it is a living force that can bring you through the many threats and challenges of life. Your ego [western term, from the Latin meaning self or I] does not believe this for it cannot find dharma; ego is not guided by love, and dharma is intimately tied to love. In the West, the closest concept to dharma is grace [one, whole, universal], the loving presence of God that keeps humanity under divine protection. When Jesus spoke of God seeing the fall of a sparrow, he was referring to dharma. In China, the same concept emerged as Tao, the middle way, which was seen as an invisible but real power that organizes all life. Being in tune with the way is the same as living within dharma. The Christian term the Way is likewise. Jesus exhorted his disciples to "come follow me."

"Every spiritual tradition has taught that success in life depends upon finding the Way and ignoring the distractions of external things. Your Ego, however, insists that your survival depends upon paying total attention to the outer world. Its primary tactics--vigilance and defensiveness--are the very antithesis of surrender in the way. Your ego, a perception of which, causes you to believe that separation is necessary..." In reality separation is not ever necessary; it is something chosen or not.

Being in dharma however, "heals separation by making us [inter-being] a reality," not as a 'unit of two,' but as a whole, oneness, a universal spirit. Chopra explains further, "You are acting in dharma whenever you allow rather than oppose. Allowing results in statements such as these:

* Is there something you need?
* How can I help?
* I see what's going on with you.
* Go ahead.
* I understand what you mean.
* You're right.

"Unity makes another person's viewpoint completely clear; you understand someone who is outside yourself." What makes this possible is the realization of inter-being, that what you value, esteem, follow isn't something outside yourself, it may be only outside of your ego. Thus "following your dharma in the deepest sense means not only obeying the laws set down by society or adhering to rules of religious conduct--there is no fixed formula for finding the Way..." Set spiritual guideposts for yourself, thus making this newer, broader meaning of dharma essential.